in between of soulless scars

where you bury me

and then you hate me
for learning not to forgive.

you often pull me to break through the surface of your sanity and then leave me through the ruins. you recognized the poetry i have written in between of destructive spiral you have created and drowned them in the exact moment you told me they can save souls. you turned the colours i have loved into something that even my lying corpse could never learn. you chose not to break the chains i hated for so long and with my eyes closed, you let me know the place where the good souls don’t go. you let me tell the story about the traps hidden every winter days and told me they don’t even seem real.

you often break hearts i’ve loved to build. the thought of you always lead to coincidences you never believe. you took words out of my lips and turned them into dusts; into something no one would ever cared about. you often slipped away from a miles-away-mind but you also often come back to remind me that no one can ever let them go. with all the coldness of your skin, you lay my thoughts there tamed and naive. you took my heartbeats away mad. you took a part of me away. breathless, my last words reached the graves: “i just want to feel my heartbeat again.” and you come back holding them in your palms with a smile, forcing them into its home and you’re mad again to realize they’re no longer fits there. you grew the madness in me, you taught me how not to cry. and then you hate me, you blame me—

for growing a ruthless heart.

— 02:18
l. sin, where you bury me

»» photo (without the words in it) taken from Andrea Arnold