F1/F2/F3 One Shots

Without him - AA23

You took a shaky but deep breath as you walked away. Without him. He'd been declared dead at the scene after having no pulse. You just watched the screen, paralysed. You didn't know how to act, what to think, where you were supposed to be.

You soon decided to just walk away. You didn't want to be here anymore. The only place you could think to go was his motorhome. It would feel like him there and you wouldn't nothing more than to be with him, but that was the closest you'd get.

You entered his motorhome and took in your surroundings. The last time you'd been in here the pair of you had been laughing as you recalled moments from when you'd been at secondary school together. It felt uncomfortable to be here so you hurried yourself and packed him things up into a bag.

While doing so you found one of his hoodies. You held it in your hands and stared before pulling it over your head. It smelt just like him and when you closed your eyes, you could imagine him engulfing you in a hug. It felt like he was just there.

After a few moments you decided it was time to go. As you left, it hit you that it was unlikely you'd ever see some of these faces again. Everything that felt so familiar, was going to be gone. Tears started to flow so you took a deep breath and brushed them away. You didn't want people seeing you like this.

Lando and George tried to talk to you on the way out but you didn't want to. The only person you wanted to talk to right now was Alex but he wasn't here. You didn't even want to talk to your brothers which for you, was almost unheard of.

You soon reached the car and fumbled around in your pockets for the keys, eventually finding them.

You sat down in the passenger seat, not even thinking about it. Alex wasn't here. You'd be driving. He'd driven the pair of you here and now you'd be going home alone.

It all became too much and the only thing you could think to do was scream. So you did. You let the tears and emotions flow. Your anger, sadness, all of it. It just kept coming.

You didn't to leave him. You wanted this to all be a bad dream. To wake up and he be laying next to you with his chest rising and falling peacefully. You cried and cried into your hands. The world around you felt like it was collapsing.

You already missed his dark brown eyes and soft hair which was always coloured some different colour. You missed him talking for hours about how he couldn't wait to see his family and the animals again. You missed just spending time with him, wrapped in each-other's arms, fast asleep.

You soon heard the door next to you and a pair of arms wrapping around you.

"Let it all out." your brother, Arthur, said. He held you tightly but didn't try to tell you it'd all be ok. He knew you wouldn't want to hear that. You just wanted someone to be there. At such young ages, you and your brothers had experienced so much loss in your life, enough for most people in a lifetime.

"Why did it have to happen?" you exclaimed, through sobs. "Because it was his turn. Whoever is up there, making these decisions, decided it was time for him and that'll be difficult for us and that's ok." Charles told you. He always knew just the right words. You pulled away from Arthur and wiped the tears away from your eyes.

You loved your brothers beyond words and didn't know where you'd be today without them. The 4 of you were inseparable, besides when you were with Alex. Lots of people would do anything to have what you and Alex had, and now you would too. He was gone.