CLOSER (SAM FENDER)

EIGHT

Violet

The ease of the afternoon should have been a concern to me. The day became late and it happened unexpectedly. I'd spent a majority of the morning sifting through Jake's comments and the way he'd talked to me. It gutted me, if I was being honest.

I finished my lecture but I didn't remember much of it, and the rest of the day kind of just, floated by. It was a steady decline into a late afternoon and I was alone for most of it.

But Sam had texted me and told me he assumed Jake was fine and he was bringing home food. I wouldn't be alone for long and the comfort that Sam would bring me eased the nausea rolling through my stomach.

Sam.

He'd been so kind before he left, unlike Jake and his harsh comments. He'd been soft around the edges and concerned about me. He was apologetic for actions that weren't his own, and he stood up for me. My chest softened at the thought and I sighed.

But he'd reassured me that what happened between us would never happen again, and as much as I knew that to be true, a flood of disappointment washed through me at the realization of his comment. I shouldn't be disappointed. I should be moving on and focusing on my relationship with Jake, not the kiss I shared with one of my best friends.

The door clicked and Sam walked in slowly, carrying a bag of takeaway and a bottle of wine. His facial expression was a mixture of concern and something else, but when he saw me, it softened and he smiled.

"Hey...thought we might want some of our favorite."
He held up the bottle of white that he knew I loved. "Also got us some curry from that place across town we like."

"You went all the way across town for that?"

He cheeks reddened and he shrugged. "It's our favorite."

"That's really kind of you, Sam."

He smiled again as his gaze met mine. It was both soft and needy, and full of layers I didn't know how to identify. It froze me in place and held me captive, but it reassured me that I was safe all in the same moment. I forced myself to look away from him after a few long moments passed between us, but I didn't want to look away at all. The realization of that frightened me. Sam was taking up space in my mind that belonged to Jake.

I moved to the kitchen and retrieved a few glasses for our wine, and met Sam at the table where he unpacked our food. I kept my eyes on him while he divvied up the silverware and napkins and I unscrewed the top of the wine. I poured us each a glass and sat down at the table, pretending not to notice the container of food that was still sealed up for Jake.

He sat next to me and picked up his glass, clinking it to mine on a smile. "Cheers, love."

"Yeah...cheers." He took a long gulp and winced slightly before taking another.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine. Just a long walk is all. Thirsty."

"I'm not sure chugging wine is the way to go then."

He laughed and picked up a fork and begin digging into his meal. We ate in silence for a few moments, enjoying the food and the company mainly. It was rare that Sam and I ate a meal together without Jake, usually our schedules were completely different. He reached for his wine and took another sip, eyes falling on me after.

"Have you heard from Jake?"

I shook my head. "No. But you said you think he's blowing off steam?"

He took another bite and nodded as he chewed. "Yeah...I'm sure he's good. Nothing we need to worry about." He looked down.