Violet

Epilogue

One month later

White walls. I stare at plain white walls. And a desk. And a few shelves. And a window.

Usually, my body is racing with emotions, but right now, I feel nothing.

I could feel something if I wanted to, but I choose not to.

It's only been a month and lately, my only four states are numbness, utter rage usually turning into hysterical sobbing, and frequent PTSD. This includes many intense anxiety attacks and of course, nightmares every single night.

Sometimes I decide not to sleep, not to take the sleep medication I was given, pretending Sebastian is right next to me, just like the last night.

It was easy to not let myself go off the rails with anxiety, believing that nothing in the simulation was real. But once things became darker and darker and when I finally returned to the real world, finding out that not everything was the long dream I thought it was, killed me.

Once I awoke again, I was in the hospital recovering. Turns out, everything that happened in the simulation happened to my body in real life. That in itself makes no sense, however, I still stare down at the scars across my palms, refusing to look at the half-healed scar slashed across my eyebrow to cheek in the reflection of the window beside me. I wipe my hands along my jeans from sweat, this action causes an ache to travel through my side, reminding me every day that I had put my trust into someone I shouldn't have.

How did I not suspect Arietta?! Every day I am reminded of it and every day, I hate myself for being so naïve. She was right in front of me the whole time.

Nevertheless, I saw my family and some friends, of course wanting to hear all about what happened, all worried. I spoke very few words at first, then would go days without talking. They still haven't let me see Sebastian, no matter how many times I've asked. It makes us wonder if there is something very wrong. I would give anything to go and see him right now. And it has been only around last week that I have started opening up to the person I am the closest to, the most loving, my mother.

But once the attacks started happening again, I suddenly found myself back at the hospital, or, more like an institution.

Looking out the window, seeing all the tall buildings and streets down below, I think. The year 2022 is so different to the 1800s. I scowl at how immature I was to have willingly gone into that simulation. Unknowing about what was to come, and how it all started with the note. No. Not my note, Sebastian's.

Sebastian. The name causes tears to spring from my eyes. When will I get to see him? Will I ever get to see him? Is he even...alive?

Squeezing my eyes shut, I try forcing it from my mind, but it is too strong. He was going to sacrifice himself for me. I was in a rage about it for a long time, hated him even for doing that, but there is no point anymore. As much as it pains me, it's not the time to let my emotions take over.

Today I was urgently asked to meet with one of the simulation programmers and a doctor who worked in the area.

I wasn't sure how to feel about it, but I couldn't say no.

So here I sit, numbly, in this incredibly uncomfortable chair within a plain boring, white-walled room, awaiting answers. The only things that are in the room are a desk opposite me with a computer, a few shelves and two chairs that look way more comfortable than mine. There is also a clock on the desk, facing me and painfully ticking as slow as ever.

Just when I get the idea to switch my chair with one of the ones in front of me, the door to my right creaks open, and in comes the professionals, a man and woman. It is obvious who the doctor is, as the short lady wears a stethoscope around her neck and teal-coloured scrubs. The simulation creator is tall and dark shaggy hair frames his face. He wears a salmon-coloured long sleeved buttoned-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, tucked into black pants. The lady has a beautiful dark skin tone, and her black hair is pulled back in a low bun, her facial features are angelic. They both walk over to me.

"Hello, you must be Dawn," the man holds out his hand for me to shake. I stare blankly into his face, not lifting an arm. He sadly half-smiles and says softly, "-Kay." He and the lady walk back to the chairs in front of me and sit down. "My name is Alexander Finch, and this is Dr Aviana Manning," Alexander gestures towards the lady, she gives me a soft affectionate smile.

"Hello Dawn, we appreciate you joining us today," she says, "and with the deepest respect," she eyes the man, "we are immensely sorry." My jaw clenches but I gingerly nod. Alexander shuffles some paper around on the desk and then looks at me.

"We are here to give you some news. We-" My stomach turns, is this about Sebastian?

"- of course, we wanted to give you some time to recover." Dr Aviana interrupts, then adds,

"and we are going to explain everything about what has happened."

The game maker rests his chin on his hands and exhales deeply. "But firstly, we wanted to let you know that Sebastian is alright." I close my eyes and take a breath in relief. "He is in hospital still of course."

"When can I see him?"

They both exchange glances, and this makes me nervous.

"You are now able to see him." Says the doctor. I look from the game maker, back to her. Something's wrong.

"What are you not telling me?"

Alexander sighs before answering me. "Well, there is a slight complication." Oh no.

"He is okay, right?" I ask severely. The doctor looks toward me.

"Dawn, Sebastian is in a coma. He has suffered a major loss of blood and wound impact."

I can't see it, but I feel the blood and colour drain from my face. My eyes widen and my throat becomes so tight that I need to force out my words. "He's what? Is he going to be okay?"

Doctor Aviana nods supportively. "We believe so."

And I sit there, slumped against the chair in disbelief for a second. "I went into a simulation. A simulation is a simulation. It isn't real. Why didn't salvus work?"

Alexander leans forward in his chair. "As well as enhancing our simulation storyline, the hacker deleted crucial sensors, like the one detecting the word you were to say on the last day, bringing you back to us."

"Dawn," Dr Aviana starts, "we are going to tell you everything, start to finish. But right now, there is bigger news to discuss, something you need to know. Apart from you and Sebastian, there was another that was sent into the simulation."

At first, my slow-working brain doesn't connect the dots when she continues.

"There was another. Unlike you and Sebastian, they volunteered to enter, knowing what was happening and wanted to help. We thought it would give you both an advantage once agreeing to help you out, but under secrecy." I stare.

"Of course, this all had happened when you two were well and truly in," Alexander adds, "our systems were hacked the night you arrived. We tried sending both of you a message, though it only appeared on Sebastian's note. The person, or group of people that we were hijacked by, changed our entire program to the deadly storyline you have just experienced."

"You are telling me," I hardly get the words out, "that we were not the only ones in the simulation?"

Alexander takes one more glimpse at the doctor and then veers back to me. "New information is brought forward every day, but yes, we believe everyone you spoke to, everyone that had a story or that were involved with was in the simulation just like you were." I can hardly get one word out.

"Who?" I choke out. "Who was it that helped us?"

"His name is Laurence Hordero," the game maker takes one more glimpse at the doctor, then veers back to me, "and he went into the simulation as Laurie."