Violet

28| You said my real name

The rain stopped a while ago now.

I stand on the hill after stepping out of the castle. The soft afternoon sun breaks through the clouds, throwing spears of golden light across the quiet and sleepy village. Milky clouds with dark grey bottoms still hang over the edge of the horizon, and now all that is left is the radiated heat waves and humidity drinking the last drops of moisture from my cracked and dry lips.

Guilt no longer is chained to my wrists. Only fear now. Ugly moths flap their desiccating wings in the pit of my stomach.

Maree was right. In a couple of days, we did forget about the silly argument that took place between us in the forest. It was not silly at the time, perhaps the correct word for it would be minuscule. But now I am afraid that this is something too great that Emmett cannot even think to forgive me for.

But whether you want someone to forgive you, it is still their journey, not yours.

My fingers trail the sides of the castle I walk entirely around, eyes darting in search of him, unsure if I even want to find him.

I do not know what to say at all. I do not think I ever will, even if I wait days for the right words to come out, and that is okay. All I can do is try.

Then I glance further down and spot him standing on the hill, isolated, looking out onto a large green field of grass further below.

My heart drums harder, but my feet are already moving closer. The wind blows my eyes dry as I continue.

"Emmett." My mouth opens to say when I am close enough.

He turns around and then speaks in a low tone. "All I want to know is why. Why did you choose to keep it from me?"

I take a deep breath. "I know you would not have approved I go talk to William. You would have done the same for me." He glares at me. "But," I continue plainly, "I kept the fact that I did it from you, and I am sorry, it was not the easiest to bring up."

"There were countless times when William and Fredrick were brought up in conversation," his voice now threateningly elevating, "why – no, how could you continue to keep it to yourself? It was not that hard, was it? Tell me. Why was it so hard?"

It is like a layer or two of skin has been peeled from my body, leaving me incredibly vulnerable and raw. His eyes force themselves into mine.

"Look," I swallow, "daring to talk to someone as physically violent as William – you pay a price for it."

He stares at me through his eyebrows, shaking his head. "What did he do to you!?"

I have never seen him like this before. "Nothing! Why are you mad? He just –"

"There you go again. There was a photo back there, was there not?" He throws up his hand, pointing to the castle. The sleeve of his shirt flaps wildly from the wind against his arm. "That is why you were hesitant to go through them earlier! Violet, tell me what he did!"

"I should be able to decide when and how I tell someone something!"

Emmett scoffs fiercely. "Are you debating with your life right now? This is not about reasoning Violet, or doing something in your own time, we were supposed to tell each other every single detail of anything suspicious, to get out of here."

A mix of rage, fear, and angst warp around my heart like vines, knowing that nothing I can say right now will make a difference. "Trust me, if I thought something was suspicious enough to mention, I would mention it!"

"Yet you did not. I understand that it might have been stressful – "

"Oh no, we are not back to that again, are we?" I interrupt grappling with every sense in my body just to stay calm. "You say you understand, yet you are becoming enraged about it."