Turning Page: New Journey Begins (Sumodjiyaras)(Agnimamehil)

part 6: Self doubt and Regret

Susheela's Pov:
( She was walking on road, thinking all of this while returning home)

Meri baat sunne ka wakh nahi hai uske paas yahi kaha na usne,  Busy hai wo !
Aur yaha mujhe dekho
Mera sapna sach hogaya hai pramod phir bhi me us din se aaj tak K&d ja nahi payi hu pramod aur na koi kaam kar payi hu
Pata hai q?
Uski wajah tum ho aur tumhara pyar hai !
Mene koshish ki thi apni personal and professional life alag karke waha kaam Karen ki, Garima ko tiffin Dene ke bahane me 2 baar waha ja chuki hu, tab mene waha rukne ki koshish ki thi par nahi

Aur tum apne kaam me itne busy ho gaye pramod! Kya tumhe apni peheli mulakat, chautala hospital me hamne sath bitaye hue pal yaad nahi aate? Kya ye sab baate tumhare kaam me Distraction nahi banti

Mene apne wade ke mutabik sabse jyada pyar tumse kiya lekin shayad tumhari life me mein aur hamari love story itni important nahi thi jo tumhe 2 din bhi kafi pad Gaye apni routine life me adjust hone me, mana ki tum doctor ho, me compare nahi kar sakti hum dono ke kaam ko par phir bhi me dil me he khayal q  aarahe hai, tumhe meri yaad bhi nahi aayi hogi kya?

Kaatelal me kaam nahi kar payi me q ki
baar baar tumhari yaad aajati thi ,wo yade hum mile the us pehle din se lekar sahdi Wale din tak hamari relationship ki sari stages mujhe wapas dikhti thi
Aur baar baar mere man ko kehti hai tumhe Roku, tunhara hath pakad ke tumhe convince karne ki koshish Karu, aur kese sab pehele jesa karu sochne par majboor karti thi q ki atleast abhi tak tum mere liye gunhegar nahi the, mere liye bus Mini anuty thi aur Garima, papa bhi mujhse baate chupane ke liye

Mere maa-papa ne mera support Kiya, meri maa ne peheli baar unki apni swabhiman ko sambhal ne ke liye kiye hue struggle wali kahani sunai aur mene kya Kiya apna self esteem, self respect sab chodke waha gayi honestly tumse baat karne pramod,
q ki maa jab ye kahani bata rau thi tab pata hai mene mere man me actually kya soch rahi thi
Me soch rahi thi wo mujhe kahengi ki mene Galti ki hai ye Gusse me Ye rishta Tod kar, mujhe laga tha wo kahegi ja Jake pramod se mil, pramod se baat kar

Pata hai me ye sab q soch rahi thi,  taki unke jariye me apni khudki feelings ko validate kar pou

Lekin galat thi me aur bahaut jayada galat hu!

Galti ki mene apne pyar par bharosa karke
Socha tha k&s, ghar, papa, maa, family, career ke liye bahut royi
Papa ke swabhiman ke liye bahut sacrifice kiye mene, isliye peheli baar selfish hokar apne pyar ke bare me socha
Aur aakhir uski saja mujhe mil hi gayi!

Q hogayi hu me esi, kya itni lachar thi me, jiski wajah se meri family ki itni badi insult hui, mere papa ki itni badi insult hui uske paas tu wapas q gayi susheela?
Ye kya hoagaya tere sath, pyar ne itna andha kese banaya tujhe

Tu woh pehli wali susheela nahi rahi ab!
Q ki tu wo hoti to esa nahi karti

Susheela ke man me bas yahi sawal aarahe the :-

Kya abhi bhi me ek acchi beti kehelane ke layak hu? Kya ib me esi ladki ban chuki hu jise koi swabhiman nahi hai jo bus swarthi hai,
Kya ab mujhe apna chota bhai ek ideal sister ke roop me nahi dekhega

Kya meri is harkat ki wajha se sab ke liye me bilkul unrespected ban jaungi

Kya meri image ab down hogayi? Ab mere koi respect nahi karga

Kya mene sach me pyar ke bare me soch kar itni badi galti ki hai

Kya aaj me apne chahne walo ki najaro se utar chuki hu?

Mene sulha karne pehele kabam badhaya kya isse ab meri shaan Kam hogayi hogi

Kya Sirf pramod apni mom se bahaut pyar karta hai aur me apne papa se pyar nahi karti!