When We Happened

Chapter 30: Scared People

Chapter 30

Scared People

I was distracted the whole day after Jeric told me what Stella said on that gossip podcast. For the whole prep and glam shit I had to do before Benjie Moore's party, I was just out of it and let the glam team Fortune hired for me today do their jobs.

"I don't know what's your problem, Asher. Your issues with Yap and Stella literally resolved themselves. All you have to do is reconnect with him and you're here paralyzed and won't do shit."

"She just made a very private issue into a very public mess."

"Yeah, and? Let's make it more public if you want," he said with a reckless shrug. "If you don't want that, that's fine too. Because if her plan was to imply that you two were together when they were still dating by dropping the date of their official break up, then she's not very smart. It only gives you clarity and it's only gonna backfire on her ass."

"She doesn't know she just cleared up a messy timeline of events and made it possible for you guys to actually be together because it was, after all, a clean break."

"Girl, what's wrong?" the makeup artist Willa asked. "Did you not like the outcome?"

I smiled at her. "No, I liked it. I'm just tired and I'm actually dreading going to this party."

"Why? Everyone would die just to get an invite."

"Oh, I know that. It's what everyone keeps telling me," I shot back with a smirk. Tingin mo hindi ko alam 'yan, girl? Hindi ba ako pwedeng magkaroon ng sariling opinyon. Hindi ba ako pwedeng mapagod at gustong mamahinga? Anyway, inayusan ko pa rin ang sagot ko dahil nagpapaka mabait na nga muna ako. I'm starting my unproblematic era tonight.

"It's still just work for me, you know? I feel like I've been working non stop since I stepped foot here. I just want to spend one night in my room to eat my heart out and do nothing."

"I hear ya," sabi nito habang tumatango. Hayyy, I miss Shea, my friend slash makeup artist. "But you're in the city that never sleeps. We just gotta roll with the punches and wait for the day where you can finally afford to slow down and breathe."

"That's gonna be a long wait for me," natatawa kong sabi. Like can you imagine? I'm sure maraming sikat na models ang rarampa ngayon sa iba't ibang seasons ng fashion week. It's just a matter of time na mawawala na ang atensyon nila sa akin. "I just started and they have so much stuff lined up for me."

"And isn't that great? More work, more opportunities to shine."

I'm grateful for that, but I am also just tired and lonely and sad. "Yeah, you're right," I managed to say, forcing a smile.

The lie feels natural, because I know I have to be grateful for all the opportunities I get. I am thankful for all the people who are pushing me to be good at this and to those who made this all possible for me to have this career this early.

But deep down inside, the sadness deepens everyday and the longing for that one person just gets stronger. I can feel it in my bones, the ache and the need for him. Even in my sleep, I dream of him. That's just how much I miss home... and him.

Everything just leads back to him.

***

Apparently, anyone and everyone that is someone and somebody in the Fashion and Entertainment industries are here at the Benjie Moore Pre-Game Party, said by Sir Felix when he started briefing me at the back of the black sedan TMA booked for us.

He didn't say anything about my appearance. He didn't comment on the little black dress he had bought and delivered to my room. I'm pretty sure someone else picked this dress for me, maybe it's Sir Red, it's just his name on the card.