A Long Way From Home//Carl Grimes

Chapter 7 - Loss

Gunshots. All I hear are gunshots. I roll away from the governor and I see Michonne do the same. Michonne cut her rope on the end of a car and then she comes over and cuts mine.
"We need to find the others."
She says. I nod my head and sprint with her towards the prison. I see Rick and the governor fist-fighting. I need a weapon. And soon.
"I need to go help Rick. Go find Carl."
She says quickly. I watch her run off, still stunned with what is happening around me. I see her stab the governor with her katana. I run off towards the prison. I look around for a while, but I can't find Carl. I yell his name over and over. Rick comes up behind me.
"We need to find him. Carl!"
We see two walkers up ahead. I reach for my knife, but it isn't there. What do I do? Suddenly, the walkers drop to the ground and standing behind them is Carl.
"You're okay!" I yell and hug him. I quickly pull away when I realize I'm supposed to be mad at him. At this point, I don't even care anymore.
"Please don't be mad." Carl says.
"Just forget it. I forgive you. Where is Becca?" I ask.
As soon as I say that, I hear her scream pierce through the air. I run as fast as my legs will carry me. I may say I hate her, but she's the only family I have left.
"Becca!" I scream. I sprint around a corner and I see a walker take a bite out of her shoulder.
"No!" I scream as Carl shoots the walker. No. I can't lose her too.
"Cassie, I'm so sorry. For everything. I've been so rude to you. You're my little sister. I'm supposed to be there for you. Please forgive me." She says crying. I'm so blind-sided by this. I can't handle it.
"I-I forgive you. I love you." I say, I can feel tears coming, but I'm too shocked to cry.
"I love you too." She chokes out. Her breath starts to quicken and it becomes more shallow. Then, the fever takes over the rest of her, and she's gone. Carl walks over and shoots her in the head.
"She was all I had left." I said, crying hard now.
"I know. You have us. It'll be okay." Carl says pulling me into a hug. Everything is happening so quickly and I don't know what to do. It feels like I'm moving in fast-forward. I can't even process what's happening around me.
"Judith."
That's all Rick says, but we start searching. All we find is a blood-filled car seat. Rick and Carl start crying.
"We have to go." Rick says sternly. We all start heading towards the woods. Carl walks ahead of us and he won't talk. I'm holding Rick up, almost all of his weight is on me.
"Carl? Can you slow down please?" I say trying to help Rick walk. Carl isn't saying a thing. He won't even look at me.
"Carl?!" I ask angrily now. He flips around and glares at me. He walks over and helps me with his dad.
"You can't do anything for yourself." He says. I look at him in shock. How could he say that to me? I can feel the tears coming. I'm so stupid. Stop crying, Cassie.
"You're right. I'm just some stupid girl right? Some stupid girl that can't fend for herself?" I say letting go of Rick. I walk faster than them and try to get ahead. Carl grabs my wrist but I rip my hand out of his grasp.
"Don't you dare touch me!" I yell at him. I walk even faster now and let Carl help Rick. I should have never fallen for him. I was so stupid.

Later on that night we found a big house in a pretty clean neighborhood. I look back and I can tell that Carl is mad. We start walking up the steps of the house and burst open the door. I start to clear it when Carl says,
"Keep watch. I'll clear it."
"No. I can do it."
"You don't have to prove yourself to me."
"I'm not. I can clear the freaking house, Carl."
"Fine."
I search the whole place, but I find nothing.
"I'm taking the upstairs bedroom." I say. Carl looks at me but he says nothing. He must really hate me. I don't have anything against Rick. I honesty should have ignored Carl and helped Rick. I walk upstairs and close the door behind me. I sit on the bed and just cry. This is all so hard. We've lost so many people. Becca's gone. My brother, James is gone. My parents are gone. Carl now hates me. I have to kill every day in order to live. I just sit there and cry into my hands. I cry for everyone I've lost. I didn't hear the door open, but I picked up my head and Carl was standing there. He really has a lot of nerve coming here right now.
"What are you doing here?" I ask wiping my tears.
"Coming to make sure you're okay."
"I can handle myself. I'm fine."
"Cassie that's not what I meant. I was mad. I'm sorry."
I don't know if I should forgive him or not. He comes and sits next to me.
"Saying sorry doesn't make everything better all the time, Carl." I snap.
"Please Cass. Forgive me." He says grabbing my hand. I think about pulling it away, but I can't. Do I forgive him? I get mad sometimes too, but every single time he thinks it's okay to get angry at me and then just solve it by saying sorry.
"I forgive you." I say. Apparently my mouth said something before my brain told it to.
"Thank you. I'm so sorry." He says hugging me. He pulls away and we're really close. Why does this keep happening? I can feel the butterflies in my stomach. I'm trying not to freak out. I can see he's starting to lean in, so I tease him. I move away and grab his hat. I put it on my head and say,
"I've been shot now, so I can wear it." I smirk at him and he laughs. It's not a very fun club to be in, but at least I get to wear a cool hat..?
"You're such a tease."
"I know." We both start laughing.
"Now come here." He says grabbing my hand and pulling me closer. He puts his hands on my waist and smirks at me.
"You look good in that hat." He says smiling. He starts to lean in again and this time I do the same. Our lips touch and I can feel the butterflies again. It scares me how much of an effect he has on me. I pull away and say,
"We aren't even dating Mr.Grimes."
"Well, at the prison, I had this whole thing in my head ready to ask you. That kind of got put on hold. So, Cass, will you be my girlfriend?"
I'm actually quite surprised he asked me that. Goodness. He's so charming.
"Of course I will Carl." I say smiling. I kiss him again quickly and sit back down on my bed.
"Let's go tell your dad." I say grabbing his hand and leading him downstairs.
"Dad?"
He isn't answering. He isn't moving. He didn't even flinch. No. Not Rick too.
"Dad?!"
Carl walks over to his dad and starts shaking him.
"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" He yells. Suddenly, we hear walkers pound on the door. Carl gets up and starts to walk towards the door.
"Where are you going?!" I yell-whisper.
"To lead them away. Stay here. I'll be back I promise." I just nod but I'm scared. What if he doesn't make it back?
"Please be careful." I say running over to hug him.
"I will be." He says smirking. He walks out the back door and I go to sit next to Rick. I check his pulse...still there.
"Carl and I are dating now. If you were awake I would tell you. Please wake up Rick. Please do." I say grabbing his hand and holding it. I sit there for a while waiting for Rick to open his eyes and smile at me. Talk to me in his thick, southern accent, but he doesn't. All of a sudden, I hear gunshots.
Carl.
I grab my gun. Carl taught me how to use it after I got shot back at the prison. Thank god. I actually am a pretty good shot. I sprint out the back door and run to where the shots are coming from. I see Carl on the ground with two walkers on top of him and another one walking towards him. I shoot it in the head and it falls limp onto him. I run over to Carl, hoping he isn't dead or bit. I push the walkers off of him and see that he's okay.
"You're okay." I say hugging him.
"Yeah. I am."
"I thought you were dead."
"I thought I was about to be."
"Don't scare me like that again." I say hugging him again.
"I won't. I promised you I would be careful." Careful? He calls that careful?He grabs my hand and we start to walk back down the street.

~

THIS CHAPTER IS LONG FOR ONCE. WOW. OKAY. I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MANY READS ON THE LAST CHAPTER BUT I UPDATED ANYWAY BECAUSE I LIKE THIS STORY. I LOVE YOU ALL~Lilly