A Long Way From Home//Carl Grimes

Chapter 21 - Darkness

Why does Carl sound so mad? This isn't good.
"Why didn't you tell me you got into walker trouble out there?" He asks. Are you serious? Walker trouble? I've been in much worse than that.
"Carl I can handle walkers by myself."  I say, quietly.
"Cassie, you need to be careful out there. Now because The Saviors are out there-"
"The what?" What are The Saviors? Why don't I know about them? I can't believe no one has told me.
"Nothing."
"Carl Grimes. Tell me right now."
"Cass-"
"Carl. Now."
"The Saviors are a group led by a man named Negan. They aren't good people Cass."
"Why is this the first time I'm hearing of this?"
"Because no one wanted to scare you. Plus, you've been stressed lately. But Cass, listen to me. The Saviors will kill anyone that gets in their way, okay? I don't want you out there fighting them!" I can't believe no one told me. These people sound terrible.
"Carl, when?"
"When, what?"
"When are you guys going after them?" He looks at me for a second. He can't make eye contact with me. He seems tired and defeated. How long had this been happening? He closes his eyes and shakes his head.
"Tomorrow morning."
"Tomorrow morning?!"
"Yes. And you aren't coming."
"Carl! I am too!" He isn't going to keep me from fighting. No way.
"If you come and something happens to you, I won't be able to live with myself." He whispers, grabbing my hand.
"If you don't come back, I won't be able to live with myself! Carl, I won't be able to go on!" I say, pulling my hand away. I won't forgive myself if anything happens to him. I look at his pleading face that's now full of sorrow. I shake my head and walk down the steps of the porch, but I stop. It's his birthday. I need to stop being so stubborn and crabby. I turn back around and start up the stairs again. Carl stands at the top looking at me with confused eyes. As soon as I reach him, I kiss him. All of the worries and bad times wash away. I'm filled with that warm feeling that he used to give me. The one I haven't felt in a while with all of the stress.
"Well, hello you two." Daryl says, walking up next to us. I quickly step back from Carl and look down, embarrassed. I laugh a little and Carl does the same. His face turns bright red as he looks up at me again.
"Was there something in her eye again, Carl?" Daryl asks, laughing.
"How the heck do you remember that?" Carl asks. He's referring to one of the first times Carl and I kissed, back at the prison. Daryl walked in and Carl came up at the excuse that there was something in my eye. That's one of my favorite memories. I can't wipe the smile from my face. It feels permanent.
"I remember everything." Daryl says with a small smirk. He turns and walks back into the house.

-

I wake up the next morning, still smiling from last night. I begin to get dressed. The usual flannel. Maybe a jacket. It's pretty cold. I put on my boots and I take a step outside. There's a weird feeling in the air. I decide to go find Carl, that's what I usually do everyday anyway. I open the door to his house and I don't see anyone. Oh god. He left. He left- he's gone. To go find Negan. I didn't get to say goodbye. What if something happens to him? I can't. I sprint back to my apartment and see a note on my table:
"Hey. I know you'll be super mad when you read this. But, I had to do this. I had to go for you, Judith, and the rest of the group. I promise to be careful. Love you always, C."
I have tears in my eyes. Great. Just freaking great. I need to find them. I want to help. I leave my apartment and go find Gabriel.
"Gabriel, where were they headed?" I ask him.
"Uh, Hilltop I believe."
"Thank you!"
I keep running, but I don't run out of breath. Not when I know Carl is in danger. I'm not losing him too. I quickly go to the armory and grab two more guns. I can never be too safe. I put some extra ammo in my backpack, and some water and food too. I head to where the cars are held and take the crappiest one. Just in case I die. I don't want the group to suffer. I start the car up and slowly put my hands on the wheel. I just realized...I've never driven a car.. I'm only 15. Well, better now than never. I put my foot on the gas pedal and feel the car slowly move forward. I look at Eugene as he opens the gate with a confused expression on his face.
"Where you off to?"
"To find the group."
"I can't let you do that."
"I'd like to see you stop me." I begin to take off again when I hear someone yell my name, and it isn't Eugene. I look in the mirror to see Liam running towards the car. He opens the passenger door and looks at me.
"What the heck do you think you're doing?" I ask.
"Coming with you. Now, hurry up and get moving before the creepy mullet guy doesn't let us leave." I ignore his comment on Eugene and push down the gas pedal once more.