In this together

Chapter 11: Luz

!MAJOR TRIGGER WANING! 

Talks about physical and sexual abuse.    (Also fluff, lots of fluff ;))

(Luz's POV) 

"Okay," I turn my body to face the dim woods and my hands pick at the seem of my pants. "Um I'm not entirely sure where to start." I look back at Amity and she smiles softly, taking my hand in hers. 

"Would it be easier if I asked questions and you answered them?" For a brief moment, I wanted to say no. I wanted to stand and run into the woods. I didn't want to say everything, but I didn't. I need to tell her, and I need to face my demons. I nod my head, "I think that would help." I send her a soft smile and she nods. 

"Okay, now tell me if a question is too much, alright?" I nod briefly and she smiles. "I don't know if you remember, but one day you came to school with a black eye and your neck was bruised. You said you tripped and fell while you were holding something. Is that what really happened?"

I slowly shake my head, my nerves spiking in the slightest. "Can I ask what did happen?" My head turns to face her, and I try to push the words out. "M..m...my dad....um ..." My hands start shaking and a faint burning sensation sprouts in my chest. I quickly glance at her, and tears start swelling in my eyes. "I...I'm..I'm sorry" She quickly grabs my hand with one of hers and the other cups my cheek. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here, just breath. In for four, out for four." 

I follow her instructions and the burning fades. "Better?" I nod slowly, "Good, now take your time but if you want to stop, tell me. I don't want to push you." 

"It's okay, really. I just...I've never told anybody, and I'm honestly scared to relive and go through it again." Her hand lays on my shoulder and she gives me a reassuring smile. "no one said it was easy opening up. Take it slow." Taking a deep breath, I nod and grab her hands. 

"Um, sometimes when I do something wrong or my dad is in a mood, he gets physical. When we were younger, he wasn't bad. It was the usual spanking, slap on the wrist kind of thing. Things started getting worse around Luca's thirteenth birthday after he came out as transgender. I don't remember it well, but I remember him screaming and yelling and Luca crying and our parents fighting. Lucia drove us over to Wionna's house and we stayed the night. I was oblivious to what was going on. I didn't realize what Luca was going through until..." My grip slightly tightens around her hands as tears sting my eyes. I snap out of my thoughts and loosen my grip as I feel Amity's hand move slightly. 

"Im sorry, I....I....I didn't mean to-" 

"Its okay Luz, it didn't hurt. We can move on if you want" I shake my head, "No, you deserve to know. You and Willow are right. Its just hard, to actually say it. To say and confirm things that should never happen." Our eyes meet and her expression is content. "After Lucia left, things only got worse and worse. I was so mad at her for leaving and I blamed her for it. I know it's not fair, but I still do." I ball my hands into fists, "I mean, she was our older sister Amity. She was supposed to protect us and defend us! And she just left us there with him! She knew what was happening and she still LEFT US!" Tears fall down my red, hot cheeks as I stand up and point up to one of the windows. If it was the room she was in, I didn't know. "SHE SAW EVERYTHING! SHE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING! AND SHE DIDN'T CARE!" My voice is high pitched and all I feel is anger and resentment towards my sister. 

Amity's face is written with concern, and she stands up, quickly pulling me into a hug. I can't help but cry harder as she whispers soothing words and rubs my back. I burry my face into her shoulder but the words keep coming out, slightly muffled. "She just left. Why didn't she stay?" My words mix with my sobs and play over like a broken record. I take a few seconds to regain my composure and Amity softly whispers, "It's okay" Once the tears pause and I calm down slightly, Amity leads me back to the stairs so we can sit and I keep going.