i like this book because you never will know what minho is thinking, since it's all hyunjin's perspective on things..
⚘ Mind over matter. ⚘
I lay in bed.
I can't sleep.
My thoughts are racing.
There's the events from only hours ago to think about. There's the fact that it's only Minho and I home to think about. There's the fact that he's a room away and we can actually talk to think about.
What do I even do?
What was going to happen? What is going to happen?
I can't do this anymore. It's eating me alive. I have to do something.
I stand up out of bed, my T-shirt and sweats on. I walk over to the bathroom door. I need to do this. This is what's best. We need to talk. I take a deep breath before I open the door.
I step inside the bathroom. Then his door opens. I turn over to look, as he walks in the bathroom the same way I did. He is shocked to see me, he freezes. He looks terrible, like he was upset— but he also looks better than ever, his attractive gaze making me nervous.
I kind of regret this now. I came in with no plan. I have no clue what I'm even going to say to him. It was like my mind was just clouded.
This was a mistake. I shouldn't have done this. I turn around, reaching to open the door again.
"Wait—" he pleads, stepping closer. He grabs my wrist, pulling me to him.
We are closer than I'd like, so I stumble away. "What?" I spit, ripping my wrist away.
"Were you coming to see me?" He asks, softly.
"I—" I stutter. "What.. if I was?" I say, quietly.
He smiles a little bit. "Then I'd be relived, because I was coming to you."
I pause. "Why?" I ask.
"Because I need you." He says. "Badly. You've been stuck on my mind and I... I need you. Please."
Fuck.
Fuck.
I can't do it again.
Don't do it again Hyunjin.
But this is what I want.
I need him, he needs me. We need each other.
I feel a tear run down my cheek. I don't even realize I'm crying until he is holding me, confused as to why. He shushes me, rubbing my back as I cry into his chest.
"We can't do it." I sniffle. "We can't, we can't, we can't."
"But we can." He says, he holds up my face. "Hyunjin, it doesn't matter what we are, you can need me. You can kiss me. You can touch me. I want you too."
"But it's wrong." I shake my head, rubbing my lips together. "It's wrong because I..."
"Hyunjin, it doesn't matter what we are. If you need me as much as I need you right now...." He says softly, but doesn't finish his sentence. "Please." His eyes stare at my lips, before going back up to my face.
I know what he is saying.
I know I shouldn't do this.
I want to do badly, but I shouldn't.
But I do.
I reach my hand up to his jaw, smashing my lips into his. I close my eyes, loose tears falling down my cheeks. The tears mix with the kiss. It tastes like tears and vanilla chapstick, coming from my part.
YOU ARE READING
ON CUE | HYUNHO ⚘
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