The car raced down the road much too fast for me to hurl myself out of it without ending up seriously injured. . .or a smeared body on the road.
Lights winked by like blurry zig zags, reflecting off dashes of yellow strips that flickered. I gripped the door handle for dear life, debating if my choices of living were high as I held my breath fortuitously.
Edward's brow was deeply knotted in thought. "I wanted to stay away. I wasn't--strong enough," His jaw flared as he clenched his teeth. "I'm still not strong enough."
He was merging onto the interstate now--the car headlights flashed past like overwhelming strobe lights as he weaved in and out of the lanes effortlessly. A glance at the speedometer showed he was at eighty five miles and climbing.
There was nowhere to go.
My head felt light and dizzy. There was nothing but the road outside the windshield and the glowing red breaks of the cars ahead of us. Not even the display console was lit. The brief flashes of headlights only empathized the darkness surrounding me--I felt like any moment I would have a seizure. I suddenly felt the narrow space between us.
I swallowed and moved my hand to the nearest thing I considered a weapon--I knew pepper spray wouldn't do shit. I realized with a shuttered breath, I was vulnerable. I had nothing to protect me.
"I was weak. And you smelled--" he paused. "Even without breathing, I remembered your scent. It burned in my mind—my throat. Like some plague I couldn't stop. I hadn't had time to become. . .acclimated to it. And you were just a girl. The only thing holding me back was—" he sighed as the steering wheel gave out a squeak beneath his clenched hands. "I didn't want to be the reason we would have to leave and start over somewhere else. But your blood—" his eyes narrowed darkly, "I can't even put it into words just how tempting you are."
My body somehow stiffened even more, if that was possible. I was duly considering opening the door and ending it there. There was a possibility I would only be severely injured and not killed. Could I open it quick enough? Was there enough time to unbuckle my seat belt? Would he notice? I slowly reached for the buckle—his eyes glanced at me. I stopped, a panicked breath elapsing despite how hard I tried to hide my fear.
"I was fighting with myself, trying everything in my ability to hold back. I imagined all the ways to kill you, El. I knew leaving was already impossible. But, I watched you. For a while. . ." A small smile, as strange as it was, briefly if you were fast enough to catch it passed his lips. "Something about you drew me in, and it wasn't just your scent. . .I would have done it, one night, when you were sleeping. So innocent and vulnerable. . .I don't want to be a monster, El."
