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Thirty-One | Messages

SOTC: Let You Down by NF

Ten Months Ago

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

The sound came from a rectangular black box vibrating under the lifted cushion. I picked it up with a shaking hand to make sure it was what I thought it was.

One of Dad's phones.

He had two phones. One he bought from Verizon and one his work gave him. They were two distinct devices, each containing their own information.

This was the one from Verizon, containing his personal information.

And what a miracle the battery hasn't died for a month.

I clicked on the home button, my jaw dropping when it suddenly unlocked. But the shock dissipated upon it opening on the Messages app.

Specifically, a conversation with a contact named Claire Bear.

Claire Bear: When are you coming back?

Claire Bear: Dad please come back. I don't know why you left but please come back I love you so much please come visit me. Hannah and Anna want you back, too. All three of us love you so so much and we're your children please Dad.

Claire Bear: Dad? Hello?

Claire Bear: Dad please!

Claire Bear: What did Mom do???

Claire Bear: Did I do something wrong??

Claire Bear: Please just one text it could be of an H.

Claire Bear: Please I love you and you love me.

Claire Bear: Do you still love me?

Claire Bear: Dad she hit me.

Claire Bear: Do you care now that there's bruises on my body and I'm not calling CPS?

Claire Bear: As a life update, Duke just moved in. But he can never replace you. If you don't think you can see me again, that's ok. But just know I'll wait for you forever. I'll remember you from our cherished memories together to your tattoo dedicated solely for me. I love you, Dad.

Claire Bear: Fuck you.

Claire Bear: You and your deadbeat ass can rot in hell.

Claire Bear: I'm sorry I didn't mean those last two texts.

Claire Bear: Really, I was high. I get high now... I'm sorry.

Claire Bear: I won't do drugs anymore if you text back.

Claire Bear: Please forgive me.

Claire Bear: I give up.

My soul burned within my physical body as the air entering my nostrils paced. Every plea, every cry for help, every swear, every I love you over months burned to ashes before me as it sunk in: they were all just a freaking buzz under a couch in a basement.

But before I could sink into the floor to wail in agony, the only similarity between the phones crossed my mind at the speed of the comet killing the dinosaurs.

There was one contact he could call and message from any one of the two phones in case of an emergency... and the calls and messages would sync on both.

I exited out of our chat and tapped on the message thread labeled, Tamara.

Otherwise known as Mom.