Helion Spellcleaver and the Lady of Autumn ; A new start

Part 19

Since the night her sister came home as Fae with the three batboys Elain had hoped she would never have to go through such an awkward dinner ever again, yet here she was near a stone-faced Lucien and in front of a surprisingly quiet Ember. The only ones who were truly eating were Beron and Isaiah, oblivious or not caring about the heavy atmosphere in the room. Aurelia and Eris kept their utensils fisted, moving the food around the plate while Lucien hadn't touched nothing. In fact if not from the slight movement of his chest one might think there was a wax figure sitting instead. Straight back, hands on his knees in an almost painful grip, head up, eyes open yet not seeing.
'Lucien, is the food here not up to your tastes? I remember you liked it before.' Isaiah stopped chewing and Ember stilled with a spoonful mid-air. Both pairs of eyes turned to Lucien as if noticing him for the first time. It would've been comical if Lucien hadn't been fighting the bile in his throat threatening to spill if he opened his mouth.
As if the movement required a lot of concentration Lucien raised one hand and brought a silver goblet to his lips. 'Apologies sir, my stomach is a little unwell. Its been a while since I've been in Autumn and had its food. I can assure you my performance at dinner will be better.' He spoke mechanically, without even raising his eyes to Beron's.
'Well I suppose your poor behavior can be excused.' Beron put his utensils
down and reached for his napkin. 'And your mate?'
If reaction from Lucien was what he'd been seeking he certainly got it. Lucien raised his head, piercing right through Beron with his gaze. He wanted to say something harsh but he couldn't deny Elain the right to defend herself. Vipers like his family needed someone who wasn't afraid to fight them eye to eye. If not then the Vanserras would drink their blood and walk all over them.
'I hope you haven't told her anything to make our Court and family look bad.'
'If its the bad words about your Court of family that concern you I'd say its rather late to worry. Wind has long carried such words into far lands my mate needn't tell me anything Sir. Though now that I am here I ought to see for myself what is true and what not.'
Elain ended her speech with a cloying smile and let her eyes travel from Beron's face to the Vanserra brothers; giving each face attention. She expected a harsh comeback form Beron for her blatant disrespect yet it was Isaiah so spoke. 'Don't be so mean sister –I'm allowed to call you that, no?-' He raised one brow, questioning. 'I you would allow yourself to open up
to this place and truly see its beauty you'll find it in your heart to like it.'
☀️
After excruciating long hours with the dear family Lucien felt like either he'd set himself or the House ablaze. The talk at lunch had, thankfully, ceased after Isaiah's touching statement and Beron had left shortly after an anxious servant came and
whispered something into his ear. Needing escape Lucien'd left Elain with Aurelia and his brothers to their after lunch tea and goodies and he'd gone straight to his old room.
Breaking the promise to always be by Elain so soon, he felt a little guilty but another moment with those faces and he would've spat all the content of his stomach on his mother's prized carpets.
He'd thought he'd be strong enough by now to face them. To be here. He'd been so wrong. The pain was still fresh. The horrors he remembered all too well coming back in like whips beating at his heart and mind until he bled. He could hear her screams in the corridors of this wretched House. Could smell her blood outside, inside. On his clothes. On his hands. Lucien wiped his hands on his pants for what could've been the hundredth time but the sticky coat of blood wouldn't go away. Instead his skin pulled her blood in, forever etching her death on him.
He was on the floor shaking and trembling, back at point zero where it all had started centuries ago. Now too, he wanted to run away. Forget everything and everyone and leave, away from this place that sucked the happiness out of anything breathing. The whole place was eerily quiet apart from Lucien's thunderous heartbeat. He didn't dare look himself in the mirror or look down at his clothes certain he'd find dulled crimson over his white shirt. Wiping his bloody hands over his trousers one more time Lucien stilled and took a deep breath trying to calm his heart so he could hear over it deafening beat.
He focused all his power on his head, his ears, trying to sharpen his senses. If no body would be heard, he'd leave.
Yes, yes he thought. It's a good idea.
I'll leave. I can't stay here. I can't
I can't
I can't-
Suddenly he went still, back upright, heart now beating furiously. Someone
was coming. He could hear it. Someone would come right into his room and drag him
out and they'd kill him. Just like they killed her. Yet strangely he wasn't afraid. Let them come I have nothing more to lose.
With each step his heart beat more and more as if wanting to escape from the cage that kept it safe yet his mind grew more serene. Just a few more steps-
'Lucien, are you all right?'
His mate's worried face was the last thing he saw before it all went blank.