Let me Help!

Chapter 13- Dilemma

TW: Suicidal thoughts!!!

I just threw her out... again. For the third time this week. At this point she was only in here to being up food, or to sleep. Even though she sometimes "accidentally" fell asleep, in the parlour. And sometimes she had the kids come up with food. I just couldn't look her in the eyes. It's not like it was her fault but.... I let out a groan, and made the movement to get up, forgetting about the pain. It quickly came back to me and i howled out of pain.

"Damn it" i said falling back into the bed. Soon enough i heard the clicking of heals, and another groan escaped my mouth. I rolled my eyes, and turned to my side. Three hasty knocks were heard, and then the door swung open.

"Are you alright?" She asked. It was Alma. I knew it was. Who else wore heals!

"I'm fine!" I said harshly. I could almost sense her head bowing down the slightest bit after that. It was always like she was ashamed of something. As if i blamed her... which i did. And i hated myself for it. It wasn't her fault. But Crystal that bitch was dead. Alma had shot her. But why couldn't she just have done that in the doorway?!

"I'll just lea-"

"I get it! Go!" I almost shouted and the door swung shut. I heard a sniffle from outside, breaking my heart. I didn't want to hurt her like this. But she just had to keep her distance for now...
I turned around again, and sat up. It was painful. Actually it was an agony to even be alive still. I was a burden. I put my legs to the ground and tried getting up. And once again, a stinging pain shot through me, i cried out and fell back into bed. Now everything just hurt even more. Fuck this. Fuck me! Please just let me die...

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-heyyy, going to highschool for a week, which is something my country does, but I'M BACK!