Deep End

Part 3

In his room, Felix dropped to his bed glumly. Binnie was right, he thought, he had lost weight and it wasn't like he could afford to lose a lot. Felix was a pretty small size already. His face was so much slimmer than it used to be, plus his clothes were definitely looser - thank goodness for sweatpants. Remembering how much food was on the table, Felix felt guilty for not eating more. Bin had put in so much effort and he had barely had two mouthfuls. And left him to clean up. Jeez, he really was a shit human being. No wonder Chan had found someone else.

A sob escaped Felix's lips but almost immediately, he sat up and punched his leg, muttering 'Stop, stop, stop, STOP! You wanted to write a song, remember?'

Rubbing his leg where he'd punched himself, he got up and sat at his keyboard, with his notebook and pen. Messing about with some chords, he sang a few lines that had come to him while walking home.

'How've you been?
I guess you're fine
It's been pretty long
Since we've last seen'

Stopping suddenly, he scribbled that down in his notebook. It was a good start to something he hadn't felt the inspiration for in weeks. Of course he got inspired after spotting Chan at the beach today, he thought dejectedly. Felix slumped and dropped his chin on his hands, thinking back to when he'd first met Chan. Was it really only a few months ago?

Binnie had invited Felix to have dinner out with him - his treat. He said he had something important to tell him, but refused to give any hints of what it was about. He seemed a bit tense about it though. He just had one more appointment that afternoon, then they'd go. Apparently some local rapper/DJ wanted Binnie to produce something for him. Binnie didn't seem entirely happy to work with him, but the DJ seemed to be on the verge of blowing up, so it was great exposure for Bin's producing credits.

Felix decided to do a bit of online gaming while waiting, even though he preferred playing with Jeongin so he'd have a healer handy (even if Innie did let him die way more than he liked). He spent an enjoyable couple of hours doing that, but eventually got bored. Way more fun playing with friends.

While Felix was gaming, Changbin was working in his studio. The afternoon wasn't going as smoothly as Changbin had hoped. Chan was being painfully fussy about his work, but Changbin also realised that he probably wasn't being completely fair. The fact that Chan was also an ex of Hyunjin's didn't help his attitude towards Chan. Hyunjin seemed fine with him being an ex. He'd told Changbin about the relationship and how it seemed to suddenly explode into a bright flame, but fizzled out pretty quickly afterwards. He'd even said how Chan had warned him about getting involved to start with. 'Don't Let Me Love You,' were the words Hyunjin said he had heard from Chan. Whatever... He didn't like people hurting his friends.

Changbin just wanted to get this session over and done with so he could head out with Lixie. Mind you, that thought also brought a wave of nervousness to his heart. Changbin had finally decided that he needed to tell Felix how he felt. He knew Felix didn't feel the same for him, but after their kiss a few months back, he couldn't just never bring up the subject again. It was killing him! He was finally ready to actually be rejected. Hopefully Lix let him down gently, and it didn't affect their friendship too much.

Chan was finally making noises of being satisfied with the production. Changbin started cleaning up a few last minute pieces while Chan asked to use the bathroom before he left.

In his room, Felix was sitting on his bed day-dreaming. His mind wandered back to the kiss he and Binnie had shared and a wide smile grew on his face. It felt like the highlight of his life so far. A pure and loving kiss with the most beautiful human he knew. His smile dropped though, as Felix recalled Bin was straight. He groaned audibly.

'No more. I need to stop this nonsense and find someone else,' he whispered to himself.

Felix then heard someone coming out of the bathroom. Probably Binnie, so he figured he'd check how much longer he'd be, and quickly opened his door.

As he opened the door, he first saw an unknown figure in a sleeveless shirt. Wavy light brown hair, shapely back and luscious rear, but Felix's eyes kept sliding back to the muscly arms being revealed by the sleeveless shirt.

He uttered a very eloquent 'Uh...' and the figure turned around. Now Felix was completely speechless. Why was there a guy, this gorgeous, in his hallway?

The man cocked his head to the side and smiled deeply. This unfortunately made it worse for Felix, as the man's smile revealed two very deep dimples in his cheeks. Dimples he suddenly wanted to dive into.

'And who might you be cutie?' the man drawled, while leaning up against the door frame.

After a bit of slapping himself mentally, Felix introduced himself and was told the man's name was Chan.

Chan turned that devastating and blinding smile back on to Felix and enticed him to go out for a drink with him. Felix initially declined saying he had plans with Binnie after the session, however Chan told him that Changbin would be ages yet, while Chan had finished his bit already. So they headed out.

15 minutes later Changbin called out to Felix

'I'm done Lixie, ready to get something to eat?'

'Lix?'

Changbin looked around and found the flat empty. With a sinking heart, he got out his phone.

Changbin flopped onto the couch, looking disgustedly at his phone.

'What the hell, Chan'.

Felix growled a noise of disgust with himself and threw himself back on to his bed. If only he'd not opened the door right at that time. If only he'd said no more forcefully and didn't go with Chan. If only he'd insisted on coming back when Binnie messaged to say he was finished.

All this could have been avoided. If only...

Sobs rose from Felix's throat again and this time he just let them out. Crying himself to sleep. Again.