The Second Tour of 44West

ch. 13 - breakdown

Rion

~ Fourth Date of Tour - Salt Lake City, UT ~

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    I woke up with a jolt and flung my hands to the sides of my body to help keep me in place. We must have hit a pothole or something. I stood up on shaky legs and steadied myself as I threw my hoodie on and my hair into a high, messy bun. I was never good at walking or standing on anything moving: buses, planes, or boats. Breaker and the guys always gave me so much shit for stumbling over every five steps and face planting into most of the solid objects on every tour bus we had. I even had a black eye for like, three cities on our first tour and they never let me forget it.

    Bracing myself by sliding my hand along the wall as I walked, I slowly padded back into the main cabin and found Elizabeth reading on the couch and Robbie sleeping in the recliner opposite of her. I stopped to make myself a cup of coffee and walked the rest of the way into the main area. Looking around, I realized the only place to sit was beside Elizabeth, so I sat down and folded my legs underneath my body, sipping on the hot liquid inside the mug I was holding.

    "Morning." I mumbled into the quiet.

    "It's three in the afternoon, Rion."

    I paused my mug in mid air before looking at my phone screen in a panic. We needed to be at the venue by now doing sound checks and run-throughs. What the hell were we still doing on the road?

    "Relax, I'm just joking." She said with a small chuckle, still not taking her eyes off of her book. "It's only eleven."

    "Oh, thank God." I sighed, relief coursing through my body.

    She had a small smile on her face as I glanced over, and couldn't help but think about how I don't see it very often, and how that was a damn shame. I wanted to be mad at her. I had every right to be furious with her. She broke my heart for Christ's sake. But being around her every day was making that goal harder and harder.

    "We did just stop for gas, though. The driver said we'd be at the venue in about an hour." She added, finally closing her book to look at me.

    "Okay, thanks." I said, then chuckling as I thought about our previous interaction.

    "What?'

    "You joked with me." I said with a small grin. "Are we on joking terms now?"

    She smiled back as she put her bookmark in place and closed the book. "I would like us to be."

    I nodded and turned my head to look around the cabin, thinking about what she just said, and listening to Robbie's soft snores in the background. Am I ready to be friendly with her? I'm not going to lie, sitting with her and talking like normal people feels so good. It almost makes me forget about everything that happened in the past. But, that's just it. All that shit did happen, and every time I think about trying to be friends, those feelings of hurt and loss keep coming back.

    "I would like that too." I replied as Elizabeth's smile grew. "But, I don't know if I'm ready for that." I added as that same smile diminished and she gave me an understanding nod.

    "Will you ever let me explain what happened that night? Why I left? I know it won't change the past, but at least you'll know."

    "I don't think so." I said, looking at her with a sad smile. "To be honest, I'm scared of knowing."

    "Why?" She asked in such a low tone it was practically a whisper.

    I thought about my reply for a second before looking back at her and replying in the same low tone. "For a long time, I was heartbroken. I thought it was my fault that you left and that I did something to upset you." I said as she immediately opened her mouth to speak, but I raised my hand to signal that she needed to wait. She closed her mouth with a small frown and I continued. "Then, I realized I couldn't have done anything wrong, not obviously anyways, so it had to be something on your end. I was pissed. But, that anger helped me keep myself out of a dark place, because I could blame you."