The Second Tour of 44West

ch. 12 - the sweet dumb-dumb

Elizabeth

~ Tour Date One - Portland ~

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She was amazing.

You could tell she loved what she did, and put so much time and effort into the songs she wrote, designing the screen visuals that were playing behind 44West as they performed, and the songs she chose to include in the setlist.

I was standing to the side of the stage, watching the entire show, and couldn't help but be amazed. I kept catching myself with little smiles on my face as my eyes were glued to her, and giggled every time I saw her doing her goofy little dances. Not to mention she caught me staring earlier and winked at me. Curse me and that damn, unwelcome blush.

"What are you smiling at?" Robbie asked, making me jump as he pulled me out of my awestruck stupor.

I cleared my throat and rubbed my hands on the fabric of my pants, somehow feeling like I was just caught doing something I shouldn't have been doing. "Nothing." I started, unwillingly pulling my gaze off of Rion to look at my fiancé. "They're just really good live."

"They're amazing!" He agreed, practically bouncing in place.

Then, the lights went down and Rion, with the rest of the band, ran off stage in the opposite direction, no doubt getting ready for their encore.

"Encore?" I asked, looking over to Robbie.

"Yeah. They're going to do two more songs. Probably 'Emerald Eyes' and I think Rion said the last one was 'Kiwi'.

I hummed in thought, keeping a straight face. I had never heard of 'Kiwi', so I was interested to hear it. But, boy, did I know the other one. On the outside, I looked the perfect picture of cool, calm, and collected. I guess I can thank years of acting for that. On the inside, however, I felt my heart painfully constrict in my chest and start thumping against my rib cage. I knew what, and who, 'Emerald Eyes' was about the moment it first came onto my 'chill' playlist eight years ago.

I was in my trailer on set for Age of Ultron getting my makeup done when the soft vocals filled the trailer, and my hairs immediately stood on end. I would recognize that voice anywhere.

I asked the makeup artist who sang this song, and she told me it was this really cool up and coming band named 44West. Naturally, I grabbed my phone and subtly started googling the members of the band, and sure enough, she was the lead singer and occasional guitarist.

Sighing, I put the device down and let the artist continue her work, trying not to get too caught up in the lyrics, or how damn heartbroken she sounded while singing them. At the time, I hadn't seen her in over four years, but I thought about her every now and then.

Her band kept growing and growing in popularity, then I saw her in interviews, live concert videos, and even fashion ads. It had been so long, and I knew I had no reason to feel the way I did, but damn, it was hard to watch them. So, every time she popped up, I quickly kept scrolling on my phone, trying not to think about what happened so long ago.

What my family made me do.

Then I met Robbie, and he was great. He was so talented, and could make me laugh so easily. When we first met, conversation was light, but very superficial. I kept thinking we would get into the deeper dialogue as our relationship progressed, but it never really happened. If it was uncomfortable, we avoided the conversation all together. I know that's not great, but I just thought that's what stable relationships were supposed to feel like. Gaining ease and simplicity at the price of lost passion.

Then he started calling me Lizzie.

I tried to tell him not to, and that it didn't feel right, but he always thought I was joking. He used the nickname so much that I just gave up and let him. I was beyond pissed that he wasn't listening to me, but like I said: It was a hard conversation, so we didn't have it. Plus, it would be rather difficult to explain to him why my family could call me that but not him. Especially since I could tell our relationship was moving towards engagement. Now, I just have to pretend that when he says it, it doesn't sound like nails on a chalkboard to me.