The Second Tour of 44West

ch. 16 - rooms

Elizabeth

~ Arriving in Chicago ~

--

I was laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. I had been in this position for what felt like hours, and all I wanted to do was hear her voice, or see her face. I wanted to check in and make sure she was okay, but we didn't have each other's phone numbers, so that was impossible.

I have no right to feel the way I do, but God, I just wish she would let me explain. Selfishly, I wanted her to hear me out so I could stop living with this guilt that's taken home in my chest for the last twelve years. I couldn't contact her, I couldn't explain anything and now I can, but she won't let me. I do understand why she won't, though. She won't have her walls anymore, and she'll be vulnerable.

And I'm still getting married.

I continued to lay down and do nothing. Now, even my book makes me think of her, so I can't even concentrate on that.

"How long have you been out here?" Robbie said as I realized he just entered the room.

"A while." I said, while sighing and grabbing my phone to check the time. Damn, it was already three in the afternoon. "What have you been doing?"

"Laying in the bed." He said, making me clench my jaw. We have literally been the only two people in the cabin of this bus, and we have not spent more than five minutes together.

"Awesome."

"What?" He asked, as he stood in the kitchen, staring at me with a tilted head.

"You really don't think it's weird that we haven't spent any time together?" I asked, sitting up on the couch so I could see him better.

"What do you mean? We've spent the last two months together."

"Not just the two of us, Robbie. We have always been with other people, which is fine and I get that you've been busy, but this was the one time we've had where it could have been just us."

He nodded and walked into the main room, sitting next to me on the couch. "You're right." He said, making me smile as I felt like I finally got to him. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know," I giggled. "Are you excited for the wedding?"

"Yes, I'm very excited so that way it will be over and we don't have to stress about it or think about it anymore."

Wait, what?

"You don't want to think about it?" I asked, trying to figure out exactly what he meant.

"No, are you kidding?" He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "All the planning has been so stressful."

And just like that my mood was back to square one. "Robbie, the only thing you've been in charge of is who your groomsmen are. I've done literally everything else."

"Still." He said, leaning back with an amused smile, lifting his phone to his face.

"What are you even looking at right now?" I asked, very much annoyed that this wasn't going how I hoped it would.

"I'm on Instagram, relax."

And this is one of the main reasons I hate social media. "You're on your phone twenty-four-seven. I can't even have a normal conversation with you before you're sucked back into whatever is happening online. Can't you see that?"

"Lizzie, we just had a conversation."

This was pointless. He wasn't going to see my side at all, and I was wasting my breath. Without saying anything to him, I stood up and walked to the back of the bus, and laid down on the bed.