I was surrounded by the people who care about me most, so why did I feel this way? Empty.
The causes and effects that has happened recently was screwing with my brain chemistry making me feel fucking bland.
"Hey, is your mom away?" Kie noticed my upset look
"Yea she's off at rome this time"
"Hmm, Rome." Kie looks at JJ and they both grin.
I never said drinking was cool, and you should use it to not feel your current emotions. But at this point. It will help me.
"Rager, i'm talking kegs on legs" i said excited
"What has gotten into you zee" Pope said laughing as he side hugged my shoulder.
"Im eighteen now, i have to have the biggest party to set the year off"
"That's what I'm talking about!" JJ said running to pick me up and spin me in the air.
This is what I needed, a party to focus on my new future. Without John B, and with rafe.
As my friends went around to buy kegs and get stuff ready for the party, they left me home to get ready. I decided to wear jean shorts with a metallic silver swimsuit top.
"Perfect" I whispered in my thoughts.
I went to check my phone and still saw no messages. Rafe never messaged me after last night. Maybe he's busy? Right?
It was six o'clock and the party didn't start until nine pm. I decided to go to the Camerons. I'm praying i don't see sarah but honestly, if i have to see her at least i'll be with rafe. I Put on a beachy white button up, then laced my converses. I grabbed my keys and got ready to leave the house.
As I went to open the door a body stood there.
"What are you doing here"
"We need to talk," John B said with sharpness.
"Just hear me out, please zee" he begs.
"Five minutes, only five and i mean it" I walk to the living room as he follows my steps. I place the keys next to me and face directly at him.
"What do you have to say?" Not giving him any reaction.
"Zee.. oh zee. I'm so sorry, I don't know what I can do to fix this. I was drunk and not thinking right. It just happened. And I wish it didn't. I love you more than I thought I could ever love.."He looks down at his hands where our promise ring once sat on both of our fingers. I had taken mine off and I think he realized. My heart drops deeper and deeper with each word he says.
"I just.. I trusted you." Crying Yet again. But this time, I wasn't the first person crying. He had been crying. His cheeks were burned by his own tears.
He came in and hugged me. We sat on my couch crying, holding each other.
"Listen, I don't know if I can forgive you yet. I need time. We should just be friends." I said breaking out of the huddle.
"I'll wait for you, forever. It doesn't matter how much time you need. I'll be here." He looked into my eyes like he meant it. He picked up his hand and cradled my cheek wiping off the tears. We sat there like that for an hour.
He then got up and said "Take your time zee, What i did was... a douchebag move. I love you Zeezee." He smiled when he said the nickname he used to call me. I gave him a faint smile back and as soon as he left I left out a big sigh.
I went up to my room and decided to go on my phone and sit away with my thoughts. "Oh fuck its 8;30" I suddenly hear JJ barking like a mad man and Kie laughing. Beer.
"Where's the birthday girl?" Pope yelled, climbing the stairs.
"Whats up zee" Pope instantly says as he sees my puffy under eyes.
"John B cheated on me" This time i don't cry, but my voice cracks.
"Oh zee-" I stopped him quickly. I don't need more pity.
"Listen, it's my birthday, let's get crazy," I said, getting up and hugging him.
"Ok but we are talking about this tomorrow" He said with a serious look.
We made our way back downstairs and sat at the kitchen table while JJ and Kie brought in the kegs.
I checked my phone. Still no messages from rafe. Maybe i should invite him.
Zee: Hey im having a party tonight at my place, wanna come?
Sent.
Time went by and people started arriving. Kie got me a birthday stash and a crown. Gotta love her efforts. Nine o'clock hit and the house was covered with friends and randoms in the area. I ran over to JJ and we played cup pong with Kie and some girl she's been hooking up with.
She says she doesn't want anything serious but I can see the way she looks at her.
"Guys im gonna use the bathroom ill be right back." I took a swig of the beer in my hand, already feeling tipsy and went to my personal bathroom in my room. The music was muted as I closed my bedroom door and checked my phone.
Read. Rafe left me on read?
YOU ARE READING
The Outer Outer banks//Rafe Cameron
RomanceMy friends always told me to stay away from the pogues, but I thought I was one of them. Kie and i became one of them. We basically lived with them over the summer, spent every day at John Bs. But as the school year wrapped around the corner, every...
