The Outer Outer banks//Rafe Cameron

I was used...To it

I made my way back downstairs pissed off. How can he just think he can fuck me but completely ignore me the next day. I'm not just some slutty toy he can play with. How dare he use me when I was beyond vulnerable. IF john b never cheated, none of this bullshit would have happened.

As I walked down the crowded stairs, everybody was looking at me. Every person was staring at me.

John B had been at the bottom of the staircase, he was turned around and what I started to see was him holding a girl. Sarah. Fucking sarah. I thought he had really been done with her, I tried to believe everything was ok. But none of this was ok. I wasn't ok. How does fucked up shit keep happening to me? Did they have sex? Is that why he cheated on me? Because I couldn't give him what he wanted? But in one day I gave my v card to rafe. He didn't appreciate it. He kept it as a prize.

How humiliating, how could john b do this to me. Embarrass me infront of everyone on my birthday. He was here hours ago begging for me back. And now, he was showing off his new girl infront of our entire student body.

Life came back to being, the lights were flashing bright colors, and john b was still holding sarah five feet in front of me. The music was blasting and tv by billie eilish came on.

"What the fuck is this music?" I shouted

"It's my eighteenth birthday right, so why is this sad ass shit on?" Kie and JJ turned their heads seeing me screaming about the sad music playing. But something caught their eyes, they saw me shouting, but they also saw john b, and sarah.

"Someone turn this shit off" I'm pissed.

Kie and jj ran to the DJ booth and changed the song to Britney spears.

As they were fixing the DJ set up I ran to one of the kegs in my backyard. I stumbled my way through the kitchen and made my way to my doors that lead to my pool where people were swimming in their undergarments. I turned towards the kegs trying not to get wet by the people splashing having the night of their lives. As i whipped around to the keg area i saw topper by himself.

"Can I make you a drink?" Topper said, trying to flirt with me.

"Make me two please"

"Whatever you'd like princess" I forgot about the stupid ass crown kie got me.

Topper has had a crush on me since elementary. We went to the same daycare and had the same swim classes growing up. He was a friend to me, he knew that. That definitely did not stop him though. He stopped trying when I was with John b. So why was he trying with me now?

I haven't told anyone about our breakup so how did he know? He was not inside the house, he didn't see them together yet.

"Princess huh?" I said to Topper.

"Happy birthday Zee" he cheered while handing me both of the drinks. I thanked him and took the drinks. I chugged the cold bitter beer and gave him a smile. He likes the attention I'm giving him. And I liked it too.

"Sick party, nice to see a kook show out" Topper said while I was starting my next drink.

"Yeah i guess, it was JJ and Kies idea" I shrugged, i never had parties like this, at least at my house. I didn't like people being in my home and touching my stuff.

"I heard about John B and uh, you know" My stomach dropped, it only happened two days ago. How did word get out?

"How did you find out?" I quickly asked.

"They came to my after party after the bonfire, Uh, Kie found them and lashed out on him."

I went silent

"I saw it happen, but she didn't know I saw everything." He sipped his beer like what he said was casual shit. Like that didn't hurt me, like John b and Sarah didn't ruin my life.

I felt lightheaded, maybe it was the beer, or the second hand smoke from the people smoking blunts next to me. My throat started closing and I was trying to gasp for air. My vision was blacking out. Next thing I knew it my legs gave out and my head smashed onto someone's chest.

"Zee, oh my god are you ok?" A voice called out.

I fell silent and kept gasping for air.

"Just take breaths in and out, okay?" The voice said

I breathed in and out, in and out. Calming myself. My consciousness was fading back into me and I could see clearly. I started coughing in the air that suddled back into my lungs. Making me alive again.

"Zee?" Topper croaked in fear.

"Im okay, im okay" I said, bringing myself away from his embrace.

"Thank you topper" His face looked horrified .

"Zee I dont think youre ok' He continued to say terrified.

"I'm gonna go for a walk, ok?" He gave me a stupid ass pity face. But I knew he cared for me, he only wanted the best. So why was I being such a bitch.

I walked back around the pool area and made my way through the kitchen. I saw kie chatting with JJ, i tried to sneak past them as fast as i could. They didn't see me, so I grabbed another cup and filled it to the brim. The calm beach is what I need right now.

I left my house and as I walked further away I could slowly hear the music muffle.

Numb, drunk and alone. The way my life has turned upside down so fast is incredible. Who was i? I never got this fucked up before and never at my own party. I walked down the ridged pathway into the beach and met the sand. My converses have sand piled into it. The waves made my skin have goosebumps.

I sat near the water and layed down. Cold and alone. I sipped on my beer until a laugh broke me out of my thoughts. I turned over and saw.. Rafe? With a girl??