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🤍 💬 ➡️
the1975 BTS Saturday Night Live, 2023
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userx he said 'i'm a big boy!'
trumanblack you were supposed to crop it dickhead
~
There was something profoundly sad about being the least enthusiastic guest at a party that was thrown for you. But Matty sat idly at the back of the room, simply observing the scene before him.
It was dark, lights only really coming from peoples phones and from the dim lamps on tables that had long been abandoned for the dance floor, by everyone that is except him. To put it bluntly, the music was shit. Well it was fine and everyone else seemed to be happy enough to dance along but as he sat there, the bass coming through the speakers feeling like rubbing a cheese grater against his head.
There was a stark drop in his energy levels the second he finished performing, kind of like the feeling you get when your blood sugar crashes, or when you open the curtains to see it's raining, or that gloomy numbness that washes over you after you've cum.
The last place he wanted to be was at an after party full of coked up New York socialites and rising stars. Half of them there to network, the other half to score some free coke and take somebody home for the night.
If his 23 year old self could see him now, grouchy old man determined to not enjoy himself in the slightest and dying to go home, he'd be rolling in his metaphorical grave.
He was snapped out of his nihilistic brain spiral by George coming over to join him with two drinks in his hands. Matty took the cigarette from between his lips and put it out in the ashtray in front of him, squinting up at George as he handed him a drink.
"Cheers mate" he mumbled as George fell into the booth alongside him.
"Perk up you moody fuck!" he yelled over the music.
Matty took a heavy swig of the drink in his hand, chuckling a little at the bluntness of his friend's comment. "I'm sorry I'm just not feeling this right now, I think I might just head back to the hotel."
"You sure?" George asked, checking his watch before looking back at his friend. Matty's eyes were glazed over, like there was no life behind them, the skin underneath was sallow and purpling and he had a patchy scruff developing across his face. He really looked like shit.
Matty just nodded in response to his question, taking another gulp of his drink, staring at the bottom of the glass through the dark brown liquid.
"Where are you going after this?" George probed, partly out of curiosity and partly to calm his growing worry that his friend was going be spiralling alone. They all had a few weeks off and Ross and Adam were going back to their families, he was going to see Charli in LA, but matty had remained vague and evasive when it came to making plans.
"I was gonna go back to London, but I don't know maybe I'll stay in New York for a bit on my own?" he replied, still not looking up from his drink.
"You sure you'd rather be by yourself than go back with your mum or something?" he asked, rubbing his friends shoulder lightly.
"I don't think I want to go back England quite yet" he mumbled simply.
George bit his lip, pondering for a moment before he said something. "I'm going back to LA with Jack, I'm gonna work on some music with Charli and her friends ... you could come?" He knew spelling it out so plainly would make Matty feel like a child but he didn't know what else to do. They'd all felt him slowly fizzling out.
Touring was intense. It forced your body into an almost bipolar state of the most intense high and the most intense lows possible. It wasn't easy for anyone, particularly repeating that cycle over and over again, but Matty always seemed to take it the hardest. Given what that had turned into before, George couldn't help but start to micromanage when he saw him slipping back into the melodramatic abyss.
Matty chuckled, his facing lighting up a little "I'd rather not third wheel you and your girlfriend!"
"Come on, you love it really!" George teased, pushing him away before getting back up to his feet.
He turned to face him one last time. "Just do us both a favour and think about it mate" he said, turning to rejoin the party with a smile as Matty nodded and waved him off with a smile.
~
TEXT MESSAGES
charliiiii Hey baby girl ❤️
Caroline told me youre coming to LA for a couple of weeks to work on music is that true ?????
Amaya 💕 Haha yeah, i'm flying out tonight 😬
charliiiii OMG so exciting I can't wait to see you
Where are you staying?
Amaya 💕 I got a hotel downtown
The best I could do last minute
charliiiii No no no
Too far away !!!
Come stay at my house
Amaya 💕 I couldn't ask you to do that
charliiiii Please, we're like a halfway house for brits in LA most of the time anyway
I can't promise it will be quiet but I can promise you wont have to sit in LA traffic everyday trying to get to caroline's studio
Also I'd just really love to hang out with you properly!
Amaya 💕 Are you sure I wouldn't be imposing ...
charliiiii I'll get your bed made up!!
Love you ❤️
authors note promise this won't be crazy depressing the whole time
