Darling | Matty Healy

Chapter 10

In the cold light of day with a pounding headache and a phone full of texts, missed calls and emails, Amaya buried her head in her pillow, groaning out loudly. She looked at the notifications populating the lock screen of her phone: 7 missed calls and 4 voicemails from Harry, a missed call from Ben, texts from Charli after they had left the club as well as a plethora of messages from her manager. She swiped onto Harry's contact, her finger hovering over the call button for a moment before throwing the phone across the room.

She bolted out of her room, shutting herself in the bathroom. Her entire body was weighed down with this feeling of disgust. Most of it was probably the hangover, but this was the first morning in a long time that she just wished that she didn't have to wake up. As she stood under the running water of the shower she let the tears flow. She wasn't sure exactly how long she was in there for, but eventually her cries became so vicious she had to grab onto the wall to stop herself from keeling over. Her breaths became so laboured she had to sit down on the floor of the shower, hugging her knees into her chest as she tried to steady her breaths.

Any attempts to drown out her sobs with the sounds of the water had long gone and eventually she heard a faint knocking on the bathroom door.

"Maya?" Charli's muffled and somewhat tired through the door.

Amaya turned the water off and crawled out of the shower, pulling herself up by the door handle and clicking the lock. Charli pushed the door open a crack and slipped inside, clicking the lock back in place and enveloping her friend in a tight embrace. She didn't care that she was still naked and drenched from the shower, she just needed to try and ground her slightly.

"It's okay," Charli whispered. "Everything is going to be okay!"

Amaya pulled her head up, taking a deep shaky inhale before she whispered out, "what do I do?" It wasn't an expression, it wasn't a mumbled obscurity, it was a clear and direct question.

Charli's brow furrowed, partly from pity and partly from confusion, wiping some of the dampness from her cheeks and just blindly nodding as she promised, "we're gonna figure it out!"

Once Amaya had calmed herself enough to stand on her own two feet, Charli wrapped her in a robe and went to go and make her a cup of tea. Amaya stared back at her own reflection again, all the tears and pain and anger spreading to an even numbness. She pulled her wet hair back into a bun so that it was out of her face and softly padded down the hallway to join Charli in the kitchen.

They curled up on the same sofa together, Amaya lying back onto Charli's chest, sitting between her legs like a child with its mother. Drinking their tea in silence, Charli gently stroked Amayas scalp in soothing circles. It was still early enough in the morning that the sun was low and the house was deathly silent.

Once she'd finished her drink Amaya went to grab her phone and look at all of the different notifications populating her lockscreen.

She started with the texts, there were a couple from random people she had forgotten she had saved on her phone, just asking if it was true, a few from her manager telling her not to do anything publicly until the issue was resolved and asking to be looped in on the intimate details of her relationship. Amaya typed out a vague response of only just finding out and waiting to speak with Harry, half-heartedly thanking her for reaching out. Halle had texted her asking for her to call her as soon as she could, Amaya replied, asking if she and Chloe were still in LA and if she could come over. After a few missed calls ben had texted her, simply saying "fuck him!" which made her laugh a little, between teary sniffles. Once she got to her text conversation with Harry she panicked and thrust the phone into Charli's hand.

"I can't look!" she exclaimed, shaking her head. "I know that this is kind of fucked up but could you ..."

Charli just nodded and looked down at the screen, scrolling to the top of the unread messages, clearing her throat before beginning.