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the1975 BBC Radio 1
Big Weekend
Dundee, Scotland
27th May 2023View all 22,929 comments
userx iconic performance !!!
userx The Dr. will see you now ...
amayasnothome help ... i think i need a doctor
This comment has been deleted~
Matty was crashing.
His adrenaline always began to plummet the second he got off stage, but tonight he genuinely felt as though his legs were about to give in underneath him. His ears were blown out and all he could hear was a faint hunk of the world that was going on around him.
All the moving pieces of disassembling a show felt like they were happening in slow motion around him. He was slightly jolted back into consciousness by a firm pat on the back from Ross as he came past him and headed back to change and head out for the night with the other guys.
Matty was the last to reach their backstage area and everyone else seemed half packed up already. He pulled off his shirt and replaced it with a hoodie, kicking off his shoes and slipping out of his trousers into a pair of sweatpants.
Hann was first to bolt out, waving his goodbyes after a brief musing on the show and feeling tired and everyone else seemed to slowly filter out of the room. Matty would hug them, wave or even engage in some form of small talk, but he just felt like he was on power saving mode or something. He was conscious of what was going on around him but he didn't feel real.
The car ride to the hotel felt like being on a plane, like all of the pressure in the air was the only thing keeping him from collapsing into a puddle completely. The elevator ride up to his hotel room felt like it lasted an eternity, as he just aimlessly scrolled on his phone, leant up against the wall. Once he was through the door and dropped his bag on the floor and kicked his shoes off, he collapsed onto the bed and let out a muffled scream into the pillow.
He wasn't even sure what emotion he was feeling right now, he just felt that familiar creeping numbness washing over him from the combination of exhaustion and isolation. In a simpler time, this would be the point he said fuck it and went out to get shitfaced, but the elastic band of self control was keeping him together, albeit a relatively miserable togetherness.
Standing under the shower managed to at least wake him up a little. The post-concert buzz that muffled his hearing and made everything he touched feel like it was vibrating, faded away and he was able to lie in bed and scroll through his phone again without feeling like a nihilistic and depressed alien.
He saw the pictures from the show that had been put up and he started scrolling through the comments, his heart starting to beat a little quicker when he saw Amaya's name pop up on his screen and then almost as quickly as it appeared, disappear. He started to smile a wide, toothy grin at the screen, chuckling a little as he closed instagram and opened up her contact, biting his lip in the slightest hesitation before typing out a message.
YOU ARE READING
Darling | Matty Healy
Fanfiction~ now you're the only thing that's going on in my mind ... taking over my life a second time ~