Left Behind -Gally-

Chapter 46

Six Months after the WICKED attack

It gets easier with time. That was something Emma had told herself since she escaped the Maze. "In time, it will get easier."

At first, it was just something she said to make herself feel better. It took a few months for there to be any truth behind her words.

It turned out her words were true. It did get easier with time. She focused a lot of her energy on fixing the boat for the journey to the Safe Haven, training with Harriet and Brenda, and preparing for Minho's rescue.

Minho was still alive, but Gally wasn't. She couldn't dwell on the dead. So, eventually, she let him go. She let him go, hoping that he was resting easy. There would be times were she envied him. Gally was gone, free of the pain the world brought on. Emma sometimes thought she'd drown in her sorrows. Sometimes they swallowed her whole, and it was a fight to return to the surface.

But letting him go was a lot easier said than done. It took a long time for Emma to get to that point.

Gally was gone, and he wasn't coming back. Emma accepted that three months ago, when she stood on the front of the ship and stared at the vast sea.

Thomas had found her there. She had been missing for hours at that point. It was late. The sun had set. The group became concerned when she missed both lunch and dinner. Realizing she wasn't in her room, they panicked. The group spread out, searching everywhere, but the former Runner found her standing on the front of the ship, arms resting on the unsteady rusted white railing.

Thomas briefly thought she was going to jump, but that wasn't the case. Emma was simply lost in her thoughts. It wasn't until he saw the look in her eyes, the pure, devastating sadness, that he asked her what was wrong. She muttered one sentence. "Gally's really gone." And she broke, uncontrollable sobs escaping. Thomas held her, guiding Emma away from the railing onto a bench.

Thomas held her while she cried. He never complained. Never told her to suck it up. Didn't comment about how he blamed Gally for Chuck's death. Because he did. He just held her, rubbing her back and muttering comforting words because that's what friends do.

He never understood how Emma could love someone like Gally, especially after what he did. But he thought about Teresa and what she did and realized he was a hypocrite. Thomas knew that you couldn't pick who you love. Sometimes, it just happened.

Nobody understood Emma better than Thomas.

Eventually, the tears dried, and Emma let Gally go right then and there. She let herself grieve and accept the truth. That he was dead.

She let him go.

Emma loved Gally, a piece of her always would, but she couldn't focus on the troubles of the past when the future remained so uncertain. She had to focus on the living, not dwell on the dead.

It was different for Thomas and Emma after that. They were already close, but Thomas felt an odd protectiveness over her. As if he needed to shield her from all the bad in the world so that he would never have to see her cry again. It pained him in a way he didn't understand.

Now, days would go by where she didn't even think of Gally. He became a memory. A memory she would cherish whenever he crossed her mind. She hoped one day the memories wouldn't pain her as much. Emma wanted to think about Gally and smile. Perhaps, once Minho was rescued and they made it to the Safe Haven, she would allow herself to figure out how to do that. For now, she didn't think much about him. It was easier that way. She knew he would understand.

She loved Gally, but she had to let him go.

Six months had passed since WICKED attacked, but it felt like years. So much had happened. Emma was an entirely different person.