It's All Lies, Darling (Yelena Belova X Fem Reader)

One

Bang

Bang

Bang

"Yelena open up!"

Shouting and banging. It was an everyday occurrence that happened when I refused to show up at the compound. I don't know why they try to make me go back there. After 3 years of not returning one would have the smarts and think, 'hmmm I don't think she's ever going to return'.

But what do they do instead. Pound on my door early in the morning. 

I grab my blanket and drag it up over my head. My black out currents prevent any form of light from entering my room, and I refused to get an alarm clock. What time it was I would never know because I refuse to get up and that way --

"KATE BISHOP CAN LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shout. But of course that does nothing. Never does. 

I roll over to my other side, and take a deep breath. My head is killing me and my body feels numb, heavy almost. Kinda wish I didn't drink the last drop of my alcohol but I was just so tired. And I could probably get some more sleep if someone would just go away.

But the pounding never stopped.

"Yelena open the door or I'll, I'll--"

"You'll finally make a complete sentence" I scoffed. 

"I'll kick the door in" she finally lets out. I don't say anything. Kate bishop can try to kick the door down all she wanted, but nothing would happen. This place was built as a security fortress. Not even hulk could smash through those doors. "Owe my leg" I heard Kate groan. 

"Why don't you try your head." I shout. "Maybe it can get you another brain cell that would tell you what go away means."

"You know I can't do that. Natasha told me to get you to the compound as soon as possible. She said it's an emergency."

"Is the planet going to blow up?"

"No"

"Is Dreykov back?"

"No"

"Do I get to push you off a building?"

"..."

"..."

"if I say yes would you open the door"

"Bishop!"

"Oh come on you know I jump rooftops for a living, and i'm like 99.9 percent sure Peter would catch me" she said in excitement almost ready to jump off the roof on her own. She was a lively one thats for sure.  

I don't say anything. I never do after the small banter. I know Bishop means well, but there's nothing for me to do over there. The compound always reminds me of her. The room we shared, the kitchen where I taught her how to cook. The living room where we played games and beat every single one of those old timers. The happy memories we shared, all turning into sadness.

Why do I want to go to the one place that makes me feel like i'm reliving that nightmare. Feeling like i'm being suffocated, where my mind blames me for what happened. Always telling myself that I should have pushed harder to go with her. That I should have done more, or maybe prevented her from taking that mission in the first place. But she did. It happened, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. 

It's not like I've become a hermit either. I got a new job working at a really great company. And I eat 2 times a day. Even if my nights almost always end up with some form of alcohol in my system. I'm living my life. Why can't the others see that I no longer want to be apart of the Avengers. Why couldn't they just leave me alone.