New Cullen

Chapter 10

Sophia POV

I woke up in a different place, I was still cold but my stomach was no longer aching. My eyes struggled to open, they stuck together until I ripped them apart.

Bright light blinded me, I was in a hospital. Frequent beeps on the monitor beside my bed made my ears ring. I yearned for Paul, he wasn't in the room. I hazily remembered the incident and prayed he came back, or will come back. He blamed himself for this, but truthfully it was my fault too.

I'd thought it was the flu, but clearly it was something more serious. I wondered if my bruises had gone away. I lifted the hospital gown from my legs, gasping as I saw the scar across my blue stomach.

I blinked hard, what happened? My mouth him open when I realized Edward sat across the room from me, staring down at his jeans.

"Edward?" my voice cracked.

His head flew up, "Sophia!"

He went to my bedside, giving me a look I couldn't read. His head flooded with a million questions.

"What happened?" I rubbed my eyes

"Let me get Carlisle, he can tell you," He was suddenly leaving, "I'm so sorry."

Well that was odd. His face seemed scared and guilty as he left the room. And soon Carlisle rushed in.

"Sophia, I'm glad your awake. How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm cold. But good,"

He grabbed a blanket from the closet across the room, placing on my legs.

"I'm glad your better," he wrote notes down.

"What happened? Why do I have a scar on my stomach?"

His eyes filled with sorrow, "Sophia, you had a miscarriage. The baby wasn't compatible with the vampire side of yourself, I'm really sorry."

I was shocked, though some parts made sense. I had a person growing inside me and my body failed to give it life. I was suddenly ashamed of my body, my arms wrapped themselves around my chest tightly.

"Where's Paul?" I stared at my feet.

"We haven't heard from him," Carlisle looked sad again.

"When can I leave?"

"Anytime you want," he said.

So I left then, Alice brought me a change in clothes and drove me home. She hugged me tightly and smiled comfortingly.

Rosalie ran up to me first, repeating how glad she was that I was okay. Emmett joined the hug soon too, and I told them I love them as I thought of the child that wouldn't ever feel this love.

The child that would be a perfect combination of me and Paul, the child I would teach everything to, have all the firsts with and who would give me the joy of being a mother.

But it wouldn't happen, my body didn't accept it. I was half dead after all. It made me question if it would ever happen, and I assume it wouldn't. I would never have the opportunity to provide Paul with kids of his own, a family of his own.

I wanted to see him so I told my parents I was going to find him, and they sent me off with Renesmee. She hugged my hips to hers as we walked in silence to the La Push beach where Jacob was that day. She held my hand and told me if I needed to talk to anyone she was there. I answered thanks but didn't feel like it.

As we entered the beach Jacob caught sight of us, running to greet Renesmee. He looked at me from over her shoulder as he picked her up in a loving hug.

"Paul is inside," he said giving me a hard look.

I nodded, walking to the door. Keeping my breath steady as my nerves kicked in.

I opened the door softly, and there he was. Shirtless at the counter. The kitchen was silent apart from the crashing if dishes as he threw them in the sink and dried his hands.

"Paul?" I asked clearing my throat.

He spun around surprised, his eyes wide as jaw dropped, "Sophia?"

It processed in his brain for half a second as he decided if I was fake or not. Then he speed walked to me, hugging me to his body.

"Where have you been?" he asked softly.

"In a hospital," I was confused he didn't know, "How long has it been?"

"It's been a week, Sophia. Do you wanna let me know what the hell happened?"

"I just woke up today Paul, and I don't know much. But I do know that I had a.." my eyes filled with tears as I stopped myself.

He wiped them gently, his warm skin burning on my cold skin.

"What did you have?" his voice was so soft.

"A miscarriage," I cried out. Suddenly the emotions hit me hard.

I failed to provide for a child. I made a child and my body killed it.

His face was shocked his forehead creased as he held me tightly.

"It's okay," he reassured me, "We weren't ready for a baby anyways,"

"You don't understand Paul, I couldn't provide for this child, I will never be able to provide for a child."

"There's so many other things we can do Sophia, it doesn't worry me at all that you can't have children. I don't see you any different,"

I sighed, "I'm sorry I'll never be able to give you a family,"

"Sophia you are my family, you can't be sorry for things you can't help. It isn't your fault."

I didn't answer, my cries had stopped and I stared at the stove. The perfect swirl of the burner. I didn't want to face this. I couldn't believe this was happening.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked me changing the subject.

I nodded, "I have a scar though."

He seemed confused so I lifted my shirt to reveal the reminder I had to live with forever. The constant reminder that I can't have children, that my body killed a child. It made me sick.

He ran his finger down the long scar, "I think it makes you look tough."

"How so?" my mood shifted.

"You can make up an epic story that you got in a fight and you won," he smirked at me.

I rolled my eyes playfully. He kissed my cheek and temple, I laid my head on his chest.

"I missed you," I said.

"Trust me, I missed you more."