Not how I pictured it

Izzie's POV
I have pictured my wedding day more times than I can count, I have pictured what my dress would look like, how I would wear my hair, who would be waiting for me at the altar. But I never pictured this. I never pictured me marrying the perfect man, and I never pictured the perfect man being Alex Karev, the same person who plastered the hospital walls with pictures of me in my underwear, and I definitely never pictured myself dying. But here we are, all of those things true. Alex is the perfect man, my perfect man, and I am dying. I pictured me and my new husband dancing the night away, but instead my new husband is tucking me into my hospital bed. It's okay though. It's okay because I am still lucky. I am lucky to have someone like Alex. Someone who loves me, and someone who I love back. After the ceremony, Alex took me back to the hospital. He helped me get changed, joking that he's seen it all before, but that's not true. The body he has seen is a different body than I am in now. The body I am in now is covered in scars and has barely any fat left on it. He tries to hide the shock in his face but I can see it in his eyes. He helps me get in bed, and tucks me in. I smile up at him, and he smiles back. I sigh, closing my eyes. I feel his fingers brush my forehead softly, and then reach for the flowers in my hair. It's at that second that I remember, my hair. It had started falling out, I noticed it this morning. I didn't want him to see it. But before I can stop him, he takes the flowers out, a big clump of hair going with them. I can tell he is shocked, so am I. I knew this was coming, and that it was only a matter of time, but it still shocked me to see such a big clump of hair, of my hair, in his hands. He takes a second to look at it, and then looks back at me. As he places it down on the bedside table, I take my hands and run them through my hair. At this moment, I start freaking out a little. I don't want my hair to fall out. Alex sees my face, and immediately starts trying to make me feel better. "Hey, hey, it's okay. It's just hair, you don't need it." He says, as another clump of blonde locks come out in my hand. "It's just gonna keep falling out." I tell him. It's true. It'll just keep falling out, and soon everything would be covered in blonde hair. "We'll shave it off. I bet you'd look good bald anyway, okay?" He tells me, reaching for the oxygen cannula. I can feel my eyes start to sting, as the tears start coming in a steady stream down my face and onto the blanket that covers my lap. I'm mad at myself, mad at myself for crying over this, mad at myself for crying tears that weren't tears of joy. I knew this was coming, so I don't know why it's so hard. It's just hair. That's what I keep trying to tell myself. It'll grow back. But it makes it real. It makes me look sick. I don't want to look sick. I already feel sick, I don't want to look it too. I feel his hands touch me, as he cups my face and lifts my chin to make me look at him. I try to avoid eye contact, but I can't resist his eyes. His beautiful, hazel eyes. I could stare into those eyes forever. "Stop it. You're beautiful." Is what he tells me. He means it, I can tell he does. I can see it in his eyes. He leans in for a kiss, and I close my eyes and kiss him back. After a minute, he pulls away, and I open my eyes, still wet with old tears. "I'll be right back, okay?" He says to me, and I smile as best as I can and nod to him as he rushes out of the room. I watch him go, and start to think about how he is the only one who makes me feel better. He always makes me feel better. He is like my rock, through all of this. It's weird to think about. I never would have thought that Alex Karev, of all people, would be my rock. But things change, people change. And Alex changed. I smile at the thought of him, and of how much he has grown. I close my eyes, and think of all the memories I have of us, of him, both good and bad. There are a lot of them. I don't know how long passes, but I hear the door open and I know who it is without opening my eyes. I feel his lips lightly touch my cheek, and I open my eyes. He has a pair of scissors, and an electric razor in his hands. I look at him confused, I didn't think he was actually serious about shaving it off. "Let's have some fun" he says with his signature smirk crossing his face. I just look at him, and can't help but smirk right back. I tell him we should probably do it in the bathroom, so we don't make a huge mess all over the bed, but he says it doesn't matter because I need some new bedding anyways, and I laugh a laugh that only he can bring on. We do a bunch of different styles, and he takes a bunch of silly pictures. He even gives me a mohawk, and tells me I look like a rockstar. I strike a silly pose, pretending to strike an air guitar, and he can't help but laugh out loud at that. It feels so good to have fun, real fun, despite the circumstances. Eventually, we run out of hairstyles to try, and I see the last piece of my blonde waves fall beside me. "I hope our kids look as good as you without hair" he jokes. I smile weakly, trying not to cry, and he apologizes for saying that. "Don't apologize, our kids are gonna be the cutest. They're gonna have your crooked smile." I say. "And your eyes." He replies. "And your attitude" I joke. "And your stubbornness" he says back. We go on for a few more minutes, laughing and joking about our kids. "I can't wait to have a bunch of little evil spawns running around." I finally say. "What makes you think they'll be evil spawns? I'm betting they're gonna be a bunch of little dr.models." He says back. "Maybe they'll be both" I reply. "Well whatever they're gonna be, they're gonna be amazing." He says, before kissing me again. "Oh I almost forgot, I got you a little something." He says, and I look up at him suspiciously. I don't know what to expect. He smiles, and pulls out a pink and white silk headscarf from his pocket. "Where did you get this?" I ask. "A good husband never reveals his sources." He says with a smirk, before tying it around my head. "See? You look hot, even without hair." He smiles, holding up the hand mirror that was on the table in front of me so I can see my reflection. As I study the reflection, I try my best not to cry again. I don't even look like myself. He can sense my uneasiness, and quickly puts the mirror face down on the table and starts scooping the locks of blonde waves off the bed and into one of the pink basins by the side of my bed. "I told you we would make a mess" I say to him. "Whatever, these are horrible sheets anyways. I'll get you a good blanket from the gift shop." He responds. "You don't have to do that. Those things are like 20 bucks." I tell him. "Hey, I have to sleep here too, and I want a good blanket. They should really invest in better blankets. I mean, what if someone dies and the last blanket they felt was this crappy hospital one. Same thing with the food. I wouldn't want crappy hospital food to be my last meal." He jokes. "Hey, I like hospital food" I say back. "I know you do, but you're weird." He says with a smile. I gasp dramatically and hit his arm playfully "I am your wife, you cannot speak to me like that!" I demand in a playful voice. "Oh really? What are you gonna do about it?" He says with another smirk. "I'm not sharing my bed tonight. You can sleep on the uncomfortable chair." I say. "Oh come on, we both know you don't like to sleep alone." He says back. "Well, I guess I do now" I say as I cross my arms, pretending to be serious. "Fine, I'll just go and get myself a good blanket. I think I'm gonna get the really pretty pink one, or maybe the one with puppies on it. I love pink and puppies." He says with a smirk, as he slowly backs out of the room. "What?! There's one with puppies on it?!" I scream, and I see him laughing as he walks out of the door. A few minutes later, he comes back, with a bunch of bags in his hands. "All of those are full of blankets?" I ask. "No. Only two of them." He replies, pulling out two blankets, one with puppies on it and the other a pink marble pattern. I smile, and he lays them down on the chair next to my bed. He takes the crappy hospital blanket off of my bed, and drops it in the bin where all the dirty bedding and hospital clothes go. "Which one?" He asks me, and I tell him to choose. "I like the puppy one," he says, picking it up off of the chair and laying it on the bed. "Me too" I say back, smiling. "So what's all this other stuff?" I ask curiously. "Well, I figured we should make a toast." He says, smiling brightly. "Alex, you know I can't drink alcohol. Plus, I'm pretty sure it's frowned upon to drink alcohol in a hospital regardless of the situation." I say. "Who said it was alcohol?" He says, as he reaches into one of the bags and pulls out a bottle of sparkling apple cider. "Aw I love apple cider!" I say excitedly, as I push myself up a little in the bed. He opens up the cider, and takes out two plastic champagne glasses. He pours some cider into both of the glasses, and hands one to me. "To us" he says, lifting up his glass. "To us" I say, a big smile spreading across my face as we clink the two cups together and take a drink. "That's some good apple cider." I say. "It better be, I spent a lot of money on it." He says, smiling, causing me to laugh and almost spit out the cider in my mouth. After we finished our cider, he decided it was time to get out of the full blown tuxedo he was in. I'm not sure where exactly he got the sweat pants and t shirt he came out of the bathroom in, because I don't remember him bringing any clothes from Meredith's, but I don't question it. He lays the tuxedo down next to the big white dress sitting on the couch, and picks up the last bag off of the floor. "There's one more thing I wanted to give you" he says, handing me the bag. I look inside it curiously, and to my surprise pull out a little stuffed bear dressed in scrubs and a white lab coat that has the words "doctor" scribbled on it in little blue letters. I laugh and give the tiny bear a little squeeze. "It kind of looks like you" I joke. "Really?" He says back with a smile. "Seriously." I say, and he laughs at the word I say so often. "Thank you" I say to him. As I move the bag off of my lap, I notice that there is still something else in it. I reach in, and gasp when I pull out a plastic white ring with a bunch of rainbow colored gems on it. "I know it's stupid, and I'm gonna get you a real one, but I figured it was still something." He says, almost looking embarrassed. "It's not stupid. I love it!" I exclaim, as I slide it on my ring finger. "See? Perfect!" I say, as I hold my hand out for him to see. He laughs, and leans over to kiss my forehead. "It's almost 8, they're probably gonna be in for evening round's soon." He says, looking down at his watch. Sure enough, a few minutes later, doctor Bailey comes in with a few interns I don't recognize. "They must not be surgical interns" I think to myself. Doctor Bailey quickly goes through the process of evening rounds with the interns and sends them out. "Get some rest tonight, Stevens. Don't stay up all night partying." She says, giving Alex the signature doctor Bailey look. "Why are you looking at me like that? I didn't do anything." He says defensively. "Don't keep her up all night, doing...whatever it is you two do." Bailey says. Alex's face looks like a mixture of embarrassment and defensiveness, and it takes everything in me not to burst out laughing at the encounter. "Don't worry, Doctor Bailey. These doors don't lock" I reply jokingly, even though I know that won't convince her of anything, seeing as a door that doesn't lock hasn't stopped us before, but we all know that there will be no sex tonight, and that was okay, we didn't need sex to make this night perfect. I married the perfect man, in the perfect dress, at the perfect church, he got me the perfect ring, even if it is only plastic. Today was perfect, and not having sex wouldn't make it any less perfect. Doctor Bailey smiles at my joke, and goes to exit the room. Just before she shuts the door, she turns around to look at me and Alex. "Congratulations, you two." She says, with a smile on her face. "Thank you, Doctor Bailey." Me and Alex say in unison, smiling back at her. After Bailey leaves, the night nurse comes in to introduce herself and do all the things she has to do. She connects me to all of the monitors that keep track of my vitals throughout the night. I always heard patients complain about how many monitors they had to be connected to, especially at night, but I kind of always thought that they were being a little overdramatic, because when you're connecting them all it doesn't seem like all that many. But when you're the one actually connected, it definitely does. She sticks a new pulse oximeter to my pointer finger, places new stickers on my chest, and finally puts the blood pressure cuff on my right arm. They always have to use my right arm when taking my blood pressure, because of the picc line in my left arm. She moves onto taking care of my picc line. As she works, she makes small talk with me and Alex. She notices the wedding dress, and tells me that it is a gorgeous dress, and that she's sure it looked very beautiful on me. She uses my picc line to take some blood for the nightly lab work they do on every cancer patient in the hospital, and she flushes and cleans the line before starting the process of giving me my nighttime medicine. Finally, after what feels like forever, she flushes the line one last time before connecting it to a bag of fluids that is hanging on the IV pole beside my bed. By the time everything is done and I can go to sleep, it is 9. I move over to one side of the bed, and pat the empty spot next to me, signaling Alex to lay down. He lays down, very careful to avoid all of the wires and lines connected to me. He wraps one arm carefully around me, while he uses the other one to take my hand. I feel my eyelids start to close, and feel his lips brush my forehead, then my cheek, and finally my lips, causing a weak smile to come across my face. "Alex." I say, without opening my eyes. "Yeah?" He says back. "Thank you." I say. "For what?" He asks, curiosity clear in his voice. "For marrying me." I say. "You don't have to thank me for that. I wanted to marry you. The cider though, you should thank me for that." He says, and I can tell he has a smirk on his face without ever opening my eyes. "Okay then, thank you for the cider." I say, chuckling softly. "You're welcome." He says, giving me another kiss on the cheek. "I love you." I say, my eyes still closed. "I know." He says, a hint of playful cockiness in his voice. At that, I open my eyes, and look at him. "You know, the typical response to 'I love you' is 'I love you too.'" I say, pretending to be offended. "Oh, is that so?" He says. "I didn't know that. I guess I still have a lot of things to learn about this whole 'relationship and feelings' stuff." He says, another smirk on his face. "I guess you do." I say, chuckling again. "I love you, Alex Karev." I say, looking him in the eyes, as his smirk turns into a smile. "I love you, Isobel Karev." He says back. "Hey, I never told you I was changing my name." I tell him. "Oh, so you don't want to be Mrs.Karev?" He says, raising his eyebrows. "Mrs.Karev? I kind of like that." I say, nodding my head playfully. "That's what I thought." He says back. "Good night, Mr.Karev." I say, giving him a kiss on the lips. "Good night, Mrs.Karev." He says in between kisses. I fall asleep peacefully in my husbands arms. I pictured my wedding day more times than I can count, but I never pictured it like this.