Forever our Secret (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 4: It All Goes on the Table

What? Natasha what did you do? My internal thoughts are running wild. She just kissed me without warning and I enjoyed it. I relish the remaining taste of her lips on mine. Why do I feel scared and apprehensive to tell her how I actually feel? Then again this is karma from this afternoon. She wanted to tell me something more, but I ran off. Just lie she did here. Natasha is the most confusing character I believe in this entire world. I thought she thought of me as a cast mate, but now not so much. I still wonder if it's still a friend thing. I exit the bathroom baffled and wide eyed. Returning to the table I see Natasha's bag and jacket gone. She really has left. Barely a goodbye I would say. We are given the food we ordered earlier but I can't get her out of my head. What do you want me to be Natasha? I stay prominently quiet for the evening and eventually leave the restaurant. Saying my farewells to the cast. I love all of the. They have my backs on anything and also crack me up to lengths I didn't even think were humanly possible. When I return home I call Natasha to come over. I'm not going to let this sit on me for who knows how long. The dial tones feel outdrawn and obnoxiously loud. With each new number being added to the call my nerves rise. Nat is something more to me. I think we both realize that, but is it bad I want more than that. I am a selfish child who wishes she could have what she wants with little dilemma. I press talk and wait biting on my fingers.

"Elise? Hey..." The other line went.

I was somewhat relieved that she wouldn't just shut me out like some others did back in highschool. "Nat, can we talk. Face to face. Here?"

She doesn't respond right away like she is debating what to say. After for what seems like ages she answers.

"Yeah...I'll be right there."

I feel my face redden. Am I ready for this? It wasn't like I was asking for sex or anything. That's what I made it sound like.

I wait around and the doorbell rings. I know I jumped at the sound of it. It seemed that she arrived quicker than expected. I gulp and open the door. She stands there in a dark blue attire and I invite her in. I grab two glasses of water and join her on the couch. There is a lot of space between us. Her eyes still gleam their dark pupils. We both start mumbling at the same time like we wanted to tell something to each other simultaneously.

"No you go first," I sad.

"El, you invited me over. What do you want to say?" She echoed.

I stutter so I stop before continuing. A deep breath and say it in one exhale, "I've wanted to tell you my feelings since we met on set that day. We were sitting on my bed and right then did I realize what I wanted in my life..." I trail off seeing her turn away. I ramble again, "Nat. I'm sorry this is probably weird to you and I was being stupid-"

I'm cut off from her lips. The soft pillow lips on mine. My heart is trying to start again after skipping so many beats.SHe leans deeper into me. Her breath comes quickly as does mine. Our faces weave in and out between each other. We are together,we are one. She eventually pulls away but I seem to be still in her arms. Our foreheads against each other.

Her voice comes soft and graceful, "Elise, I've had these burning emotions about you in me since that day too. You are an amazing person. Truly amazing. I want you to, but I'm not in the position at the moment to be in a relationship. You know, with my Dad and all."

Her hands are pulled farther from my face. Our faces matching in pigment. I nod at her. I'm not going to give up on her. She still likes me exactly how I like her. At least it's a start. I got to kiss her where it meant something.I think I'm falling for her even harder now. Damn Natasha, you really know how to captures people's attention.