*sneaks into house*
*hears shower*
*goes to ambush girl in shower*
*pulls back curtain and girl is already crying, obviously not about the fact I just ambushed her*
Me: *drops knife and takes off mask* Omg sweety what's wrong?
Girl: My boyfriend of 5 years dumped me! *sobbing*
Me: aw bby don't cry, you finish up your shower and when you're done, we can go get fro yo and egg his house.
*waits patiently for girl before I remember* SHIT I WAS SUPPOSED TO MURDER THIS GIRL. THIS IS WHY I CANT HAVE NICE THINGS.
