The Breath of Water | Neteyam

18 • Suppressed, Now Divulged Pt. II

Neteyam had always had his eyes on Liyanin, from the day he first saw her walking towards the group the time they were learning to ride an Ilu, to now. When he had first seen her, he thought that she was Ronal, for the shadows of the trees that she had emerged from had completely covered her. But when the sunlight hit her face, he saw that she was someone completely different.

She was soon introduced as Tsireya's and Aonung's older sister, and that she was next in line to be Tsahìk. She struck him as an enigmatic being since the first time he heard her speak. He had plans to stay away from her, but fate had other plans in mind.

No matter what he tried to do, he would always end up around her, or having to interact with her. And somewhere along the way, he began to grow feelings for her.

A really small part of him knew this, but his mind was always stronger than his heart. He was used to putting aside his feelings for the betterment of everyone else, especially his siblings. So that's what he did for Liyanin. He constantly suppressed his emotions, ignoring them, trying to forget.

But the more he tried to hold them down, the stronger they became.

He would have little moments where his true feelings slipped through. For example, when he saw her on the beach, smiling to herself, his body got the best of him and moved on its own. He walked up to her and talked, even though he tried everything in his mind to stop.

When she had agreed to become his teacher—oh boy, the happiness he felt. He would always try to lie to himself in saying that he didn't know what these feelings were or why he was feeling them, but he knew.

But he also knew her mother. Ronal was a very intimidating woman, and Liyanin was in a very fragile position. She was to be the spiritual leader of the Metkayina, so her spouse obviously should not be someone who recently 'joined' the clan. And Ronal obviously had some...negative feelings towards the boy, so he figured she would never approve of their potential relationship. Neteyam would remind himself of this fact every single day of every single moment, praying to Eywa that his selfish feelings to have her all to himself would go away. And for a while, it seemed to have worked.

But one day, everything, all his hard labor, all his might, had begun to crash down. The day he found her in the collection pod, he noticed she was kind of avoiding him. He felt upset, worried that she might have started to hate him since he did witness her in a vulnerable state, but when he had asked her if she indeed harbored feelings of malice towards him, she told him no. She said no, affirmatively, as if she wanted him to know for sure that that's not what was wrong. She mentioned she did not know how to explain, and then changed the topic of conversation. And it was at this moment, that Neteyam figured it out:

Liyanin had liked him as well.

He couldn't believe it, the girl he was trying so hard to forget about, just so happened to feel the same. This made his efforts to ignore his feelings all the more difficult. But contrary to his attempts to stop this train of love, he was very excited for their first lesson. However, would remind himself that he was there to learn, not to gawk.

But what's a guy supposed to do when the girl he likes has her hands on him?

There was more direct contact than Neteyam had anticipated in these lessons, and his heart would not rest. He knew how she felt, so how was she content with all of this? He was jealous of her, of how she could keep her cool in these situations. It might have something to do with her being tsakarem. But anyhow, over the course of their lessons, he had managed to get used to her touch, and his heart would not beat as wildly.

But one day, as he voiced his concerns over the second phase of the Hunt, Liyanin had offered a way to calm him down. He obliged, seeing no harm in having a cure for his fears.