Why Fearless Isn't Fear-less

3

He took a deep breath in, and out, in and out. Steadying his breathing whilst his family was asleep. He had been having these nightmares for weeks now, since the farmhouse. Being powerless to save his brothers and letting them die alone and scared, calling his name as their last hope.

He sighed, throwing off his red bandana and laying back down with a slow tear dribbling on his chin. It was pathetic. He was the strong one.

He turned over to face his brother- and sometimes whom he considered his twin on a good day- who was staring right back at him. "You okay Raph?" Leo asked in a soft voice. "Yeah," he muttered back. Leo scooted over out of his sleeping bag and sat up, looking down at his brother.

Despite the fight they had today, he still felt like he was right. He put that aside for now and helped Raph sit up (turtle problems). The red bandana'd turtle frowned at him. "Are you still mad?" Leo hesitated to answer, taking a breath.

"Yes." Raph nodded. Of course he was. Of course, because the perfect Leonardo never forgets anything and always holds grudges. Now now, he thought, when Leo suddenly embraced him with a brotherly love he hadn't felt in awhile.

"You took care of me when I was down, Raph. You built me back up from the ground and even when I falter, you're there. Always. I haven't done the same for you." He took a beat, letting his brother process what he said.

Raph said nothing, surprised. Leo continued, "when you struggle, I haven't had the courage to pick you back up. You've always had to stand up on your own no matter how hard it is. It's not fair. To you, to us..." the blue clad turtle sighed shakily, hugging him tighter. "I'm sorry for not understanding you until now, brother. I will be, now. For you, for us."

Leo noticed his arm becoming wet and gasped slightly as the sight of his emotionally decrepit brother seething with sadness right beside him. He cried quietly against his arm for minutes. Leo held still: he needed this. They both needed this.

Raph sputtered a sob and grappled onto Leo like his lifeline, a buoy that wouldn't sink no matter how hard he held onto it. He trusted his brother in this moment, to carry him to shore. And that's what Leo did.

.

Morning rose quickly, and April had sensed something different. They were getting along. It wasn't quite like her misunderstanding with a lovestruck Donnie, or the fights she'd get into with Raph when they were both confused a lost in life, but it was a good change of pace from the constant bickering.

She sat down to have some pizza Mikey made, chewing it and looking around. Casey and Mikey were annoying Splinter, circling him until he whacked them with his cane and chuckled when they pled for forgiveness. Donnie was finally taking a break by eating, sitting a few feet away. Even Leo and Raph, the ones who always fight, were talking casually talking to each other.

She smiled; finally aside from the invasion, life was good. They were healing- slowly- but healing nonetheless. April got up and went to the front of the pizza place, peaking through the wooden barricades before yelping and hiding her head. "Guys, lights out!"

Everyone moved quickly. Splinter went to the back door and hid next to it. Donnie and Raph crouched below the windows after turning off the lights. Leo and Mikey took out their weapons, hopping behind the counter. For a moment everything was quiet. April crouched, holding her hands on her head and tried to find a telekinetic signal. After a minute, she sighed. "Clear."

"That was close," Casey whined, hiding under Donnie's lab table. "We're lucky they didn't hear the TV," Raph grumbled, glaring at his youngest brother. The brother in questioned laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head.

"My sons, how is your progress?" Splinter chimed in. "I'm so close to perfecting the mutagen, Sensei," Donnie smiled a bit, holding up his concoction. "Very good, we will need your retro mutagen for the citizens of New York. And your invention on the roof?"

"Uhm- work in progress." Sensei frowned. "It is imperative that is complete!" Leo grabbed Donnie's shoulder suddenly, making the younger brother flinch. "He's doing his best, Sensei."

The rat master paused, leaving them alone with a disgruntled hum. "April, how is your physic connection to the Kraang's dimension?" The ginger rubbed her arm. "Frosty. I keep losing it and getting back. All of my dreams feel like a point of view of somebody else.."

Mikey frowned, hugging her. "Like when I dreamt about Crognard being eaten, and the inside of the guys mouth was like hyper realistic and-"

Casey flicked the back of his head, snickering. "Maybe you've been eating too much pizza dude."

"Too much?!" Mikey gasped, letting go of April and shaking him back and forth. "There's never too much pizza bro! Pizza is perfect!"

"...Anyways. Someone needs to do the daily patrol." Leo reminded. "I volunteer." Raph rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "Getting sick of us already?" Everyone thought maybe Leo would retort with some sort of quip, or get irritated, but he smiled earnestly. "Maybe a little, Raph. Come on." He waved his arm and the two exited through the back door.

Splinter stroked his neared, thinking. Their bond was improving, but was it real? Or was it a front? He was doubtful of either; maybe it was a fluke. Maybe the stress of the invasion was making everyone a little different.

Maybe.