To Capture A Heart

12.

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Her big mouth had yet again gotten her into a pickle.

"Oh, I want to get fucked."

What the hell was she thinking? That was supposed to be a secret, dumbass! The way Jennie looked at her... Talk about horrifying; Lisa was so ashamed. Her admission surely made her more of a loser than she already felt. She expected Jennie to laugh at her or something, make her feel even worse for her limited sexual experience. Imagine her surprise when Jennie entertained her ill-mannered comment by saying she wanted to sleep with her. What the ever loving hell?

Like seriously, what was she thinking?...

A few days had passed since then. Jennie continued to drive her to work, and they went to the gym as normal, despite the fact that things were strained and weird. Jennie hadn't mentioned them having sex again, and Lisa was so anxious about it that she could barely make eye contact when they did speak to each other. Thankfully, Lisa received word that her car was repaired and ready for pick up. Jennie was nice enough to give her a ride to the auto shop, and even suggested that she could go in and wait with her just to make sure things were ok. As sweet as the offer was, really it made Lisa's heart skip a beat the way Jennie wanted to make sure everything involving her was nothing short of perfect, Lisa needed some space. She needed to get away from Jennie so she could think. 

Lisa didn't know what she was feeling. Jennie wasn't overstepping at all, she was being kind and thoughtful in the way she'd been since the two crossed paths. Lisa just needed to process everything that was happening in her overactive mind, and she couldn't do that with Jennie around. So, she politely declined. The hopeful look in Jennie's eyes deflated and Lisa felt like an absolute asshole for saying no. How much longer was Jennie going to allow Lisa to let her down before she moved on?...  

With a soft "thank you for everything", Lisa all but ran inside to retrieve her keys. The mechanic explained all the stuff he'd done which cost way too much money, and she was pretty sure he'd overcharged her for most of it. Blah, blah, blah, battery and transmission, blah, blah, blah, she had $1,500 less in her checking account. As she left the auto shop with her reclaimed independence, Lisa told herself that things were going to go back to normal...so why didn't she feel better? It was the defeated look from Jennie that wouldn't stop bothering her. 

Lisa called Dee and scheduled yet another emergency appointment.

"You know, as your therapist I'm supposed to tell you that getting into a friends with benefits relationship is not a good idea." The older woman studied Lisa over her glasses. 

"Ok, but as my friend?" 

"Girl, do you like the damn woman or not?" Dee proclaimed. Sometimes she wanted to slap some sense into Lisa. 

"I don't know." Lisa shrugged. "She's not so bad."

That didn't answer the question at all. "So could you sleep with her?" Dee continued.

Lisa mulled it over. First of all, it had been so long since someone touched her in an intimate way, she wasn't even sure if her cooch worked anymore. However, realistically put she had never been so horny in her life. "Maybe?"

"Why maybe?"

"I mean, she's extremely attractive don't get me wrong. She's always been beautiful to me, but I've never thought about her in that way. Or even if I had a chance with someone like her."

"She's just a woman." Dee made some notes on her pad and returned her attention to Lisa.

"Yeah, but she knows me."