To Capture A Heart

15.

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Jennie was actually avoiding her. Like, for sure this time.

It was the last thing she wanted to do. She'd been so consumed with Lisa that when she decided to take a step back she'd forgotten how mundane life was. It'd only been a couple days. She thought maybe Lisa would reach out first, that maybe she'd apologize or, something. 

Nothing...

Not even a text. 

Hell, not even a butt dial.

That stung more than her little emotional heart wanted it to. How she foolishly thought they were getting somewhere. No doubt the chemistry and connection they shared was there and undeniable, that's why you don't kiss someone the way they kissed and just walk away. The bitter reality, which she unfortunately played a part in all those years ago, was the fact that Lisa's issues ran so much deeper than Jennie felt she understood. Her caring for her wasn't enough and for that she didn't know what to do anymore. 

Now she was all sulky. 

A sulky Jennie was an unproductive Jennie. For the last three hours she'd been staring at her computer like she didn't have a big project underway. Since acquiring the USAA account, it seemed other businesses had been added to their roster overnight needing new network security infrastructures. She could do it all in her sleep, but as of late, her mind had been latched to someone else. The most beautifully scared woman she was falling hard for, who for some reason refused to recognize how valuable she truly was. Jennie thought the world of Lisa, but Lisa didn't think the world of herself. Her life had been difficult for so long. She'd lost so much time trapped in her body and in her mind, that Jennie supposed it would be hard to trust anyone. Even someone who is literally telling her and showing her that she is wanted.

But, Lisa promised to let Jennie show her. 

She'd broken that promise not even days later. 

It made Jennie question if she was strong enough to be with someone like that. So unsure of everything, such low self-esteem and even lower self-image. For as gorgeous as Lisa was, would it always be a challenge to make her see it? Would she always be jealous of other women even though Jennie couldn't see anyone but her?

It sucked...everything about the situation just sucked. 

You know what else sucked for Jennie? The weather. It'd been bad all day. A big storm was moving in and it was advised for everyone to shelter in place until it passed. Jennie hated storms in general, especially when she was alone.  Kuma and Kai always hid in their beds when things got too bad.

"Did you get those specs I sent over?" Momo asked through the receiver of her phone.

"Yeah, just came through. I'll look over them later." Or not, she didn't feel like looking over specs.

"What's got you in such a funk?"

She was trying not to miss Lisa. "Just tired." Jennie sighed.

"You can't lie for shit Kim. C'mon, tell your bestie what's got you so upset."

"It's nothing really." Because she guessed it really was nothing. 

"I feel like I haven't really talked to you in weeks outside of work. You don't come and hang out with us at Mickey's anymore. You're always so secretive."

"I don't want to third wheel you and Emmy." The two had been dating pretty much since the day they met. While Jennie was happy for them having found each other, she remained painfully alone since a certain someone couldn't get her shit together. There's nothing worse than watching two of your friends in love, and you're miserable and wanting to be in love yourself.