Shoot your shot

James

I stare at my belongings all neatly stacked in the hallway. I've always loved football but I feel so emotional that my dream has become a reality.
My mum walks up behind me and kisses my head.
" I can't believe this is happening. My big boy is chasing his dreams. I will miss you so much James" . I don't want to look at my mum in fear that I might cry so I continue staring at my life packed into boxes and suitcases.
" thank you for always encouraging me mum. I wouldn't be here without you".
I know my mum is on the brink of tears because instead of replying she squeezes my hand and briskly walks into the kitchen.

My phone vibrates and I pull it out seeing Emma's name alongside a new message. " Good luck with the move. Call me when you're in and settled". I smile and respond with a heart emoji . I really wanted Emma to come with me today but she has college and a big test so I have to respect that. I would FaceTime her tonight and hopefully see her at the weekend to show her my flat.

' Ready son?' My dads voice cuts across my thoughts of Emma. I nod and we begin to load his Range Rover.

***

It's 8pm and I have finally unpacked everything. My flat pack furniture is made and I flop down on my bed absolutely exhausted from the physical and mental load of the day. I close my eyes and Emma comes into my head. I grab my phone and instantly call her. When she answers her FaceTime my heart skips a beat. I think she gets more beautiful every time I see her. Her thick chocolate hair is falling everywhere and I want to run my hands through it. Her dazzling big brown eyes always get to me and I sit up finding a new lease of energy.

We fall into easy conversation and I show her around my flat. She gushes about how great it all looks and I honestly wished so much that she could be with me now.
" are you definitely coming on Saturday Emma?".
" of course if you want me to".
" I would love nothing more. I need to test out this new bed..."
I see her blush and it melts my heart. To be honest I would be content in just snuggling and watching films all day next to her but I don't want her to know how bad I've got. I've only known the girl a few months.

We say goodbye and I start planning all the things I want to do with Emma this weekend. My phone pings with a notification from my agent .
" Hi James. You're being announced on sky sports this evening. I've gone through your socials and removed anything that may be triggering to people. There wasn't much but a lot of bad language. Please remember that you will have lots of females and males messaging you and trying to coax you into meeting for sex . Just be careful and stay smart. Good luck for Monday and enjoy the break".

I gulped. This has all got so real. The thought of people messaging me for money and sex is absurd. Do people really enjoy that? I think about forwarding the message to Emma but then realise it may make her feel insecure. How could I ever want anyone other than her?

At 9pm the announcement is made and instantly my instagram and Tik tok accounts are blowing up. I choose to ignore it for tonight and try to remain the same old me. A nobody. I will deal with this next week. I fall asleep with anxiety coursing through my veins.