Player: Hewwo
Morden: Hihiii!!!
Neviro: Greetings, Humans
Enizor: Three kinds of people
Edward: I want pudding
Enizor: Four kinds of people
Iris: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Enizor: Five kinds of people
Player: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Morden: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Iris: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Morden, learn to listen.
Neviro: What if it bites itself and I die?
Enizor: That’s voodoo.
Edward: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Morden: That’s correlation, not causation.
Neviro: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Enizor: That’s kinky.
Player: Oh my God.
Player: Yo is Morden sleeping or dead?
Neviro: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.
Iris: Yeah, so did I.
Morden: Okay first of all, fuck you-
Player: Wake me up…
Morden: Before you go go!
Iris: When September ends…
Neviro: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-
Player: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Morden: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Iris: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!
Neviro: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Player: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.
Player: *Screams*
Morden: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Neviro: Should we do something?
Iris: No, I want to see who wins.
Player, Morden, and Iris are sitting on a bench
Neviro: Why do you guys look so sad?
Player: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*Neviro sits down*
Morden: The bench is freshly painted.
Player: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Morden: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Iris?
Iris: Probably “road work ahead”.
Enizor: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
Player, banging on the door: Iris! Open up!
Iris: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Morden: No, they meant-
Neviro: Let them finish.
Player: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Morden: Not if they consent to it.
Iris: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Neviro: YES?!?
Player: You know those things will kill you, right?
Morden, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
Iris, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
Neviro: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
