Kelia: Watcha doin?
Hassan: Stealing my neighbour’s cat.
Kelia: Scandalous.
Kelia: Can I help?
Akeem, texting Nasir: Text me when you’re home safely.
Nasir: I’m home dangerously.
Akeem: Stop it.
Nasir: I’m home lethally.
Khalida: I just realized that every person is living a life as vivid and complex as my own.
Khalida:
Khalida: I feel so bad for them.
Nilah: Do you have a second to talk about the environment?
Akeem: Do you have a second to eat my farts?
Khalida: I prevented a murder today.
Kelia: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do that?
Khalida: Self-control.
Nasir: Can I ask a dumb question?
Akeem: Better than anyone I know.
Nasir: I just saw Hassan for the first time in years.
Akeem: No way! And…?
Nasir: I told them I’m an Olympic gymnast.
Akeem: Why?
Nasir: Well, you know when you get nervous socially, you end up lying to impress?
Akeem: No.
Nasir: Exactly, we’ve all done it.
Akeem: Unpopular opinion, not all dogs are good boys.
Nasir: Blocked.
Akeem: Sometimes, they’re good girls!
Nasir: UNBLOCKED!
*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*
Khalida: Rude.
Nasir: That's fair.
Noor: Not again.
Nilah: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?
Nasir: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK.
Hassan: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG.
Nasir: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.
Kelia: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.
Nilah: Looks like someone's a HO.
Hassan: NaBrO.
Akeem: I'm done with all of you!
Khalida: Let’s write Noor a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass...
Khalida: Dammit, you ruin everything!
Noor: You're welcome.
Nasir, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn't it?
Noor: Other side, Nasir...
*In a group chat*
Akeem: A pegan just flew into my window.
Noor: Pegan?
Nilah: A what?
Khalida: Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan.
Hassan: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO!
Khalida: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window.
Hassan: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can't relate, I have penguins flying into my window.
Akeem: I literally just made a typo-
Akeem: Why won’t you all just lie down and die with dignity?!
Noor: We don’t do anything with dignity!
