𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬

Chapter two

February 28th 2014, Brisbane

I don't know why, but the more time passes, the more my heartbeat accelerates, as if each beat were an invitation to life, a promise of happiness and fulfillment. Each beat was a call to order of my senses, a reaffirmation of my existence, of my presence here and now, in this world that never stops turning.

knock knock knock

"Enter !"

The door opened with a soft creak, revealing Niki. He settled down in silence, not letting out any sound.

"Are you ready today to tell me about your past?" With a trembling voice, I dared to ask, fearing to hurt him, knowing that perhaps he was not ready to reveal his deepest scars from the past.

"I think if I wait until I am ready you will forget about me"

His eyes showed a palpable apprehension, as if he feared I would hurt him even more by forcing him to confide in me. He seemed to think that his words might be taken lightly, or worse, used against him.He was afraid that I would do what the others had done, that I would silence the words that so desperately needed to be expressed.

"In the darkest moments and even when the world seems to be crumbling around you I will be there. The key to freedom lies in courage, in that inner strength that allows you to overcome the most difficult trials. I listen to you, take the time you need."

Each of my words seemed to penetrate his being, as if they were sinking into him like an arrow, touching a secret wound that he had always tried to hide. He was seized with an unexpected emotion, impressed to find someone ready to listen to him. It was as if his whole being had been waiting for this moment, this precise moment when he could finally free himself from this burden he had carried for so long.

"Two years ago, my father finally managed to get a well-deserved week off to take us on vacation. We were so excited and eager to go that every minute seemed to last forever. After several minutes of waiting, our father finally started the car. The sound of the engine brought us a certain satisfaction and immense joy that we could not explain. Then..."

His eyes were full of emotion, almost on the verge of tears. I could clearly perceive all the pain that the simple fact of remembering his painful past brought him.

"You don't have to continue, we can stop here for today."

"Will you be there tomorrow?"

"I'm still here, I'll be waiting for you."

He left silently, as he had arrived, like a light breath that fades into the air.

His departure left a void in the room. I felt a deep sadness as I watched him leave, as if a part of myself had gone with him. The sunlight in the room seemed less bright, the colors less vibrant. Everything seemed to have frozen in time, as if the departure of this being had created a pause in the universe.

Brisbane, 2023

I was lying on my bed, lost in my thoughts which were all turned towards him. Every second, every minute that passed, I couldn't help but think of him, of the imprint he had left on my soul.

The sad thing is that everything around me reminds me of him. The walls of my room seemed colder, even the air seemed lighter, as if it had lost its substance along with my heart. Because that's the sad part, he left me a scar that will never close. A stabbing pain, an eternal sorrow. A void in my life that can never be filled and that, with each moment spent without him, only grows.

The memory of our last meeting still haunts me, like a melody that continues to resonate in me long after the concert is over. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, words I had kept inside me for too long, feelings I had never expressed.

My heart was filled with a host of emotions that were just waiting to be revealed, to be shared with this dear one who lit up my life. And I stood there, my eyes unfocused, my heart clenched, only then realizing how much I wished I could have stayed with him even longer.

The door remains closed, like an ultimate rampart between me and the gaping abyss of its absence. I stand there, motionless, staring at the dark, weathered wood. I would like so much that the handle turns, that the door opens, that I can see him again, hold him in my arms, and forget, for a moment, the sadness that embraces me.

I cry without restraint, without even trying to hide my pain, as if the simple fact of crying could make him come back, as if the strength of my emotions was the only thing that allowed me to maintain the bond that united us.

Can I ever find peace in this world that seems so empty and cold?

Suddenly, while i was lost in my thoughts, i heard a thud, it was a picture of him, hanging on the wall right next to my bed, that had fallen on my pillow. My tears had stopped flowing when I saw it. I was still sad, but maybe a little more soothed.

Maybe it was his way of reminding me that he was still here. I stared at the photo for many minutes, capturing every detail of his face, trying to remember the happy times we had shared together.

I finally dropped onto my bed, exhausted. I snuggled under the covers desperately hoping that his face would appear in my dreams. I closed my eyes and let my imagination transport me to a place where he was always there, by my side.

A short time later I woke up, once again alone in my bed. I looked at the note he had written me six years ago, seeking comfort in his words.

The room was silent, except for the sound of my breathing escaping from my mouth. My eyes were red and swollen, marked by the tears I had been shedding all night.

Outside, the sky was gray and the wind blew gently, making the leaves on the trees dance. I looked at this familiar landscape, but it seemed different today. Without him, everything was different. The picture of him I held in my hands was crumpled, a testament to my many desperate moments of holding it too tightly.