𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬

Chapter three

March 1st 2014, Brisbane

As I waited for Niki, my mind was lost in deep reflection, navigating through the meanders of my deepest thoughts.I was trying to understand the deeper reasons for his actions, to unravel the mystery that surrounded his behavior.I replayed every detail of our last interaction in my mind, trying to find the slightest clue as to what might have happened.

But the more I thought about it, the more I felt powerless in the face of the complexity of human nature. People are often plagued by inner demons that remain hidden from the world, and it is difficult to know what is going on in their hearts and minds.

Suddenly, the creak of the door opening broke the silence.

Although it is considered disrespectful to walk in without knocking, I felt the absence of any offense. I didn't mind his entering without knocking, because I felt that it was an expression of our special bond, as if our souls were in communion and that the simple fact of seeing each other was enough to remind us of our complicity. He had taken another step towards me, showing me that he felt at home in my world. He saw me as a close person he trusted.

I kept silent, preferring to let the words come from him, aware of the importance of each word in this conversation. I wanted to avoid committing an awkwardness, knowing that the slightest awkward word could damage our relationship. So, I preferred to refrain from commenting, and just listen carefully to his words.

"We were so happy to go on vacation together, we could finally spend time together."

Without missing a beat, he picked up where he left off the last time, as if he was in a hurry to finish with his past. However, despite his eagerness to turn the page, I noticed a certain reluctance in his voice, a feeling of sadness that came through in his words. It was as if, by talking about his past, he was awakening memories that he would have preferred to forget forever. Yet he continued to speak, determined to put an end to this dark period in his life.

"Suddenly, a motorcycle appeared at full speed behind our car. The driver seemed determined to overtake us at all costs, doing everything he could to do so. Despite the proximity of another car in the next lane, he was getting dangerously close to our vehicle. Finally, he managed to slip between the two cars and pinned us down..."

He paused, letting his thoughts float for a moment, before resuming his speech as if he needed to digest what he had just said in order to continue.

"My dad then totally lost control of the car...and we veered off the road."

The last words he had spoken seemed to come out of his mouth with such difficulty that even he seemed surprised that he had managed to say them. The astonishment on his face was as if he had been shaken by the weight of his own words. It was as if every syllable had been torn from his throat with unheard-of force. His words had been imbued with an emotion so deep that it had silenced the entire room. His gaze was fixed, as if he was contemplating something that was invisible to the others.

I could imagine what happened next so I didn't ask him to tell me what happened next.

"I am the only one who survived..." His voice died on these words, leaving in its wake a silence heavy with meaning. Memories seemed to rush through his mind, and it took a moment for him to find the right words to express what he felt. But now that those words had been spoken, you could feel their impact in the room. His survival was a miracle in itself. And yet, despite all this, he still seemed to be reliving the events in his head. It was as if he had been transported to another place, a place where he had to fight for his life. But even in this state, it was clear that he still had a lot to give, a lot to tell. For there was something in his eyes that said he had been through more than he could ever put into words.

Despite my best efforts, the words seemed to evade me, refusing to be tamed. I was like a wilting flower, unable to find the oxygen to breathe.My thoughts swirled around in my head like leaves in the wind. I was desperately searching for the right words to express what I was feeling, but they seemed to evaporate into thin air before I could even grasp them.

It was as if my mouth was locked and my emotions were locked inside, with no way to escape.

"I feel weak, as if all the energy that kept me going has evaporated. I often feel like a loner, lost in my thoughts. The links that used to connect me to others have gradually become weakened. However, there are moments when I would like so much to get closer to others, to find this human warmth that I miss so much. But every time someone tries to get close to me, I put myself at a distance, as if I were afraid of being hurt or rejected. I think I don't.... deserve to cry."

During each of his visits, he had taken the habit of depreciating himself but he didn't know one thing.

"My heart aches everytime you speak so negatively about yourself.."

Unable to conceive that I said those words, I now wonder what he might think of me.

His eyes stared at mine in an indescribable way, as if he had been waiting for someone to say those words, but not just anyone.

As I was trying to figure out what I had just said, he stood up and walked over to me. I could feel his breath on my face and his hand in my hair, but all he said was,

"You have something on your hair."

I reached up to touch my hair, trying to figure out what he meant. That's when I saw the little leaf that had stuck to my hair.

We looked into each other's eyes for a few more moments before he returned to his seat. Although the conversation was broken, I felt grateful for the moment of silence, which had allowed us to understand each other without having to say a word. I realized that I felt more comfortable with him now, and I began to wonder if he felt the same way.

I searched for words to resume the conversation, but nothing came to mind.Finally, he decided to break the silence.

"By the way, what did you say earlier? I didn't hear it very well" he said with a smile

His words made me smile, and I felt a tension release in me. It was as if he had read my mind, because I was about to apologize again for my awkward words.

It was the first time I had seen him smile, as if I had discovered a hidden side of his personality. And yet, he smiled in a way that seemed natural, as if it were the easiest and most spontaneous thing in the world. Maybe it was fatigue or emotion, but I felt like that smile had the power to heal everything.

He smiled again, as if amused by something.

"You know, I feel like you talk like you're writing a book," he added.

"That's a rare quality, you know? Not everybody knows how to use words the way you use them"

I laughed lightly

I found myself feeling a sense of comfort with every word he spoke.