𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬

Chapter five

March 2, 2014, Brisbane | 7:43 pm

The sky was shrouded in darkness, with clouds stretching as far as the eye could see, creating a heavy, oppressive atmosphere. Niki didn't show up today, which made me anxious, I stayed an extra hour hoping that maybe he would come but he didn't. As the hypotheses were getting confused in my head my phone started to ring. It was a phone number I didn't know.

I hesitated for a few seconds before picking up but just as I was about to, the phone stopped ringing. I decided not to call again but a few seconds later the phone rang again, it was the same number. This time I picked up the phone thinking that it could be important.

- Yes ?

- Rae..?

It took me a few seconds to distinguish whose voice it was. It was Niki...but something was wrong. His voice was trembling, as if the three letters he had just pronounced had cost him an immense effort. There was a palpable urgency in his voice, a distress he didn't even try to hide. I asked him what was going on, but he remained silent. I could hear his breathing, rapid and jerky, as if he was about to burst into tears.

- Where are you Niki ? I asked worried

- Can you come Rae, please come...Rae I need you

The words that came out of his mouth were barely audible, drowned out by the thunder of the distant storm. I could have sworn that the clouds themselves seemed to be tearing apart under the thunder, projecting their anger onto the world below. I tried to decipher what he was telling me, to understand where he was, but everything seemed to be blurred, as if the world was slowly fading away around me. I concentrated on his voice, even though every word seemed to struggle to come out of his mouth, but the more I listened, the more I felt like I was getting lost.

- Tell me where you are Niki, I was screaming worried that it could be too late to find him

Silence.

- Cemetery..he said, whispering

- Stay where you are, I'm coming.

I ran with all my might, my heart pounding as I searched every corner of my bag for my car key. I continued to search feverishly, looking in every conceivable place, but without success. The hope of leaving was slowly fading away, giving way to an immense frustration that made me want to cry. I had no other choice. I emptied my bag on the floor, and that's when I saw the key. An immense relief came over me.

When I got there, I could see him in the distance on the ground. Tears started rolling down my cheeks as soon as I saw him. My heart clenched, I had been so afraid I wouldn't be able to be there for him in time. I ran to him with trembling legs, praying that all would not be lost.

He was crying silently, lost in his thoughts and emotions. He didn't even seem to notice that I had arrived. I approached him slowly, and stood there, watching him cry, helpless in the face of his pain. I didn't know what to say or do, as if I had been touched in the heart.

- I am sorry

He looked up, staring at me intently, as if he had seen a light in the darkness.

- I am sorry for what they did, I am sorry you feel that way. I am sorry for the pain, the tears and the tightening in your chest.

- Rae..you came.

I froze as he approached me, his face scarred with pain. He looked so fragile, so vulnerable, that I instinctively reached out to him. Without a word, he slowly laid his forehead on my shoulder as tears streamed down his face. I didn't know what to say, so I just stood there, holding him. I could almost feel his pain echoing through me, as if it had become my own. The silence between us was not awkward, but rather heavy with meaning.

Brisbane, 2018

- I know you went to see him Niki ! I told you he stopped sending me messages.

- You think I don't know that he follows you every day ? When were you going to tell me ? Were you even going to tell me ?

- I didn't want you to get in trouble because of me. You bleed everywhere, you never listen to me! that's the problem !

- And you never tell me anything I can't even imagine what he was going to do with you !

A strange guy was sending me messages day and night and lately he's been following me I didn't want to tell him because i knew he was going to leave to see him and now this has happened !

- But on top of that you go to see him while I'm sleeping! did you really think I'm not going to feel it ?

- Rae stop being so angry

- Stop being so angry ? how can I not get angry when faced with such an act ? you're a psychopath or something why do you go see him at night ? I hope you didn't do anything to him !

- I was afraid he would do something to you

- I can protect myse-

- Stop yelling Rae !

- You too are yelling ! Don't ever do that again !

- If he does it again then I'll do it too if someone bothers you he'll have to deal with me !

- You see ? you really don't listen to me ! do whatever you want! I said as I slammed the door, I didn't want to get into more trouble with him.

I left the house in turn, afraid to say anything that might hurt him more, and I was racked with guilt. Sadness wrapped me like a shroud, preventing me from breathing and thinking.

Regret comes over me as I think back to the fight that broke out between us. It was the first time we'd ever had such a major conflict, and I feel guilty for raising my voice at him. I knew that at that moment he was probably crying. I could almost feel his emotional pain, even though I know it's not easy for him to show his emotions in that way. But when it comes to me, he gets so sensitive.

I turned back, determined to express everything I was feeling. My legs started to move on their own, and I started to run with all my might. The wind was blowing hard, and my hair was flying in all directions, but nothing could stop me.

I had so much to say, so many feelings that had been bottled up inside me, I couldn't keep them to myself any longer. My breathing was ragged, but I didn't slow down. I wanted to be with him quickly before my thoughts disappeared and I lost the courage to confess everything.

01h49 AM

I pushed open the door to our room, my heart pounding. I found him sitting on the bed, staring blankly, lost in thought. He didn't seem to notice my arrival, but when he finally looked up at me, I could see the sadness and worry in his eyes.

I thought of all the things I wanted to say, all the truths I wanted to express, but again I couldn't find the words. Words seemed so powerless, so meaningless at that moment that I kept silent.

I gently moved my hand toward his face, my fingers brushing his cheeks still wet with tears. I gently wiped away every salty drop that beaded on his skin, feeling his breathing subside under my caresses. Then, without a word, he took me in his arms.

All I could say was "I'm sorry" but my words were almost inaudible, but he heard them and held me tighter.

We stayed until 4am talking about everything and we promised each other that we would never leave each other, no matter what. It was a promise that I took very seriously because I absolutely did not want to lose Niki, I would give my life for him.