Loki

Opening

Loki: (voiceover.) Here's my day so far; went to jail, lost the girl of my dreams, and got my butt kicked pretty good. Still, things could be a lot worse. Oh, that's right. I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't. How did it all come to this you ask? My end starts at the beginning. The very beginning. Yes, that's me. I had a fairly standard childhood. I came from what you might call a broken home, literally broken. I was 8 days old and still living with my parents. How sad is that? Clearly it was time to move on.

(to baby Loki.)

Fárbauti: Here is your Hulk, he will take care of you.

Laufey: And here is your binky.

(He puts the binky into Loki's mouth and then utters his last words to his son.)

Laufey: You are destined for...

(The ship closes and starts to take off.)

Loki: [voice over] I didn't quite hear that last part, but it sounded important. Destined for... what? I set out to find my destiny. Turns out a kid from the Asgardian Quadrant had the exact same idea. That was the day I met Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes. And our glorious rivalry was born!

(baby Loki's ship is heading towards a large beautiful house.)

Loki: [voice over] Could this be what I was destined for? A dream life filled with luxury?

(baby Thor's ship appears in front and crash lands into the beautiful house.)

Loki: (voice-over.) Apparently not! Even fate has its favorites. No big deal. A much different fate awaited me.

(Loki's ship lands in New York City Prison.)

Frigga: A baby! How thoughtful.

(holds infant Thor in her hands.)

Odin: (reading his paper.) Oh, yes, yes. I saw and thought of you.

(baby Loki's ship opens and he sees the prisoners crowding around looking at him.)

Loki: (voice-over.) Luckily I found a lovely little place to call home.

(to the other prisoners.)

Prisoner: Can we keep it?

(one of the prisoners is showing him picture cards of a policeman and a burglar.)

Loki: (voice-over.) A place that taught me the differences between right and wrong. Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes on the other hand had life handed to him on a silver platter.

(baby Thor flies around the ceiling.)

Frigga: Our baby can fly!

(without looking he continues to read his paper.)

Odin: Yes, yes, nothing but the best for you, darling.

Loki: (voice-over.) The power of flight, invulnerability, and great hair! [the image freezes at Mr. GTS as the tip of his hair shines] But I had something far, far greater. My amazing intellect! A knack for building objects of mayhem. [Now riding a tricycle made out of New York City license plates, baby Loki rides down the hall with some of the inmates following him. His pacifier shoots a beam through the wall and is stopped by Captain America.]

(Loki as a child is being escorted out of prison and taken to School)

Loki: (voice-over.) After a few years and with some time off for good behavior, I was given an opportunity to better myself through learning at a strange place called 'shool'. It was there that I once again ran into Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes. He had already amassed a gigantic army of soft-headed groupies.

(Thor as a child uses his laser vision to heat up popcorn and all the school children cheer and clap.)

Loki: (voice-over.) He bought their affections with showmanship, extravagant gifts of deliciousness. So I too would make this popped corn and win over those mindless drones.

Captain America: Lights out! (The prison lights turn off. Loki uses his pacifier as a flashlight to add some more sketches to his invention while Hulk watches.)

(Loki's object to produce popcorn for the school children explodes and Thor uses his powers to put the fire out.)

Loki: (voice-over.) That's when I learned a very hard lesson. Good receives all the praise and adulation while evil is sent to quiet time in the corner. [Thor sends Loki to the back of the room and is rewarded with a gold star sticker. A class photo] So fitting in wasn't really an option. (Thor plays a ukulele as the class sings "Itsy Bitsy Spider".) While they were learning Itzy Bitzy Spider, I learnt how to dehydrate inanimate objects and rehydrate them at will. (Loki fires a ray at Hulk turning him into a cube, and adds a drop of water on the cube to bring Hulk back to life. The latter sees the former belly-up as he taps of the sphere. Hulk wakes up as the two share a smile.) Some days it felt like it was just me and Hulk against the world. No matter how hard I tried I was always the odd man out. (Thor picks a girl with a cast and crutches to be on his team.) The last one picked. A screw up! Black sheep! (dodgeballs are being pelted at Loki.) Bad boy! (As a new round begins, Loki buckles up a helmet with spikes on them. As the dodgeballs fire, lightning from the spikes reflect the balls hitting a car, a man's head, and nearly hitting the teacher, but deflected by Thor. He is rewarded with yet another gold star sticker.) Was this my destiny? Wait... maybe it was! Being bad is the one thing I'm good at. Then it hit me; if I was the bad boy, then I was going to be the baddest boy of them all! (sets off a chemical explosion in the schoolhouse.) I was destined to be a supervillain, and we were destined to be rivals! The die had been cast! And so began an enduring epic lifelong career...and I LOVED IT!

(a gallery of newspaper articles appears, featuring Loki and Thor's battles.)

Loki: (voice-over.) Our battles quickly got more elaborate. He would win some, I would almost win others! He took the name Thor, defender of New York City. I decided to pick something a little more humble; Loki, incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy!