Loki

Chapter 7

Maddie: You don't get out much, do you?

Scott: Oh, what fun!

Maddie: I used to come here with my mother when I was a kid. It was one of my favorite things to do. Now look at it. It's a dump.

(Cut to Loki and Hulk using a dehydration ray to clean garbage off the streets)

Hulk: Why are we cleaning up the city, sir?

Loki: Um, well, we don't want to battle our new hero in a dump now, do we?

(Cut to Scott showing Maddie a museum, with the stolen paintings returned)

Maddie: They're all back! But how? Why?

Scott: Maybe Loki isn't so bad, after all.

(Cut to Iron Man, comfortably flying through city)

Tony: Haha!

Space Dad: That's it! Be free! My beautiful dove!

Tony: Whoo-hoo!

(Cut to Scott and Maddie having a picnic)

Maddie: (laughs) Okay, okay. Thor and I were never a couple.

Scott: But I thought you two-

Maddie: I know. Everybody did! It's just... well he was never really my type.

Scott: Really?

Maddie: Okay, now you tell me something. Something you've never told anyone.

Scott: Well, in shh...school, none of the other kids really liked me. I was always the last one picked for everything.

Maddie: Mmm, well it's too bad that we didn't go to the same school.

[Cut to Space Dad giving Iron Man a present]

Space Dad: Tony, I think you're ready for this.

[Tony opens and takes out a really small superhero costume]

Tony: Do I have a son?

Space Dad: No. Ha...ha! You make me laugh. It stretches, it's for you.

Tony: Hey, what's the IM stand for?

Space Dad: Iron Man.

Tony: Iron Man? What's that supposed to mean?

Space Dad: It was the only name I could trademark.

Tony: Oh.

Space Dad: Do you have someone special in your life, Tony?

Tony: No, not yet, but there's this really, really good-looking one I've got my eye on currently.

Space Dad: That's very good. Romance is very inspiring.

Tony: That's what I hear.

Space Dad: All you have to do is save her, and she'll be yours.

Hulk: Who wants churros?

Space Dad: I do!

Tony: I do, yeah!

Space Dad: Churros all around.

Tony: Thanks, Space Stepmom.

Space Dad: On the count of three, unsheathe your churro. One, two, three. To Iron Man! Tomorrow, you will fight Loki, and the city will know your name!

[Cut to Loki watching Maddie on his many TV screens reporting news]

Maddie: The city's parks restored to their original glory. The streets the safest they've been. The banks reopened. Has something happened to Loki? Has someone tamed this monster? This is Maddie McWilliams, cautiously optimistic and pleasantly confused.

Hulk: Well you seem in a very good mood tonight, sir.

Loki: Ha? Oh, yes. How long is this going to take, Hulk?

[Hulk is measuring Loki]

Hulk: Just a few alterations, sir, and I will be done with your most terrifying cape yet! I'm calling it the Black Mambaaaaa...!

Loki: Black Mamba. Perfect! Ooh. Gosh, I am running late. I have to go.

Hulk: What? Where...where are you going, sir? We have our debut battle with Iron Man tomorrow morning. We haven't even tested your big battle suit yet.

Loki: You attend to the details, Hulk. I have to...run a quick errand.

Hulk: You don't run errands. What's going on here?

Loki: What?

Hulk: Oh, wait a minute! [Hulk smells Loki] Are you wearing Jean Paul Gaultier's Pour Homme?

Loki: It's just my natural musk. Now, where are the car keys? Ah!

(Hulk grabs the keys)

Hulk: Nuh-uh-uh. This is about Miss McWilliams, isn't it? You're going on a date with her!

Loki: (laughs) No, my main man! Get out of town!

Hulk: Oh, this is bad. This is bad. You've fallen in love with her!

Loki: You are forgetting your place, Hulk. Now give me the keys!

Hulk: What happens when Maddie finds out who you really are?

Loki: She will never find out. That's the point of lying! [Loki pushes a button on Hulk which makes his stretched arm fall] Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd think this was your first day of being evil.

Hulk: No! This has gone far enough! (Hulk steals keys back and puts them on his glasses)

Loki: Oh, that was really grown up!

Hulk: Sir. Sir, please, it's for your own good!

Loki: Oh, what do you know?

Hulk: I may not know much, but I do know this. The bad guy doesn't get the girl.

Loki: Maybe I don't want to be the bad guy anymore!

Hulk: (shrieks)

Loki: You heard me!

Hulk: (whispering) Who are you?

Loki: Now give me the keys!

Hulk: No! My sole purpose in life is to look after you!

Loki: Well, I don't need you to look after me.

Hulk: What're you...what are you saying? You don't need me?

Loki: Let me make it clear. Code; I don't need you.

Hulk: You know what? You know what? (he spits out the keys) Code; I'll just pack my thing and go!

Loki: Code; fine!

Hulk: Code; fine back! (He starts to leave) Well, good luck on your date!

Loki: I will!

Hulk: That doesn't even make any sense!

Loki: I know!

(Hulk leaves. Both of them nearly cry, but Loki turns on his Scott disguise, leaving for his date. Cut to Maddie in her apartment, with all her notes on Loki, trying to put the pieces together)

Maddie: I know I am so close, I can feel it. (sigh) Okay, okay. I just have to take a step back. (gasp) Wait a minute. (She backs up onto her balcony, now seeing all the notes together forming an image of Iron Man with his name above) Iron Man. What's a Iron Man?

[Iron Man floats up behind her]

Tony: My super ears are burning!

[Maddie screams in shock]

Tony: I usually just scare criminals. You haven't been naughty, have you? (laughing) I'm totally messin' with you. I'm totally messing with you. The name's Iron Man.

Maddie: Iron Man!

Tony: You very own heroic guardian of pure awesome. What's your name? Just kidding, I know everything about you. Oh, oh! And I brought some flowers. (He lifts an entire cart of flowers that he got off the street) Didn't know what you likes, so I just grabbed, you know, all of them.

(Maddie just looks at him, disturbed)