(in prison.)
Captain America: (Noticing the cell guard reading a newspaper.) Read on your own time! Open up! (The guard opens the window and Captain America sees that Loki is not sitting in his chair. Concerned, he presses his face up closer to the window.)
Loki: BOO! (Captain America jumps back. Loki laughs.) Good morning Captain America. Great news, I'm a changed man and I'm ready to re-enter society as a solid citizen.
Capitan America: You're a villain! And you'll always be a villain. You'll never change. And you'll never leave.
Loki: You're fun.
Captain America: You got a present in the mail.
Loki: Is it a puppy?
[Captain America opens the box to reveal a hand watch]
Captain America: From Thor. [reading the card from Thor] 'To count every second of your eighty-five life sentences.' That's funny, never thought Thor was the gloating type. Oh, but he does have nice taste. [he puts the watch on his wrist] I think I'll keep it.
Loki: Any chance you could give me the time. I don't want to be late for the opening of the Thor museum.
[Captain America looks at the watch]
Captain America: Oh, no! Looks like you're gonna miss it, by several thousand years.
(Captain America walks away.)
Loki: Oh, am I?
(starts to do an evil laugh.)
Maddie: Happy Thor day, New York City. It's a beautiful day in downtown where we're here to honor a beautiful Thor. His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean. For years he's been watching us with his supervision, saving us with his super strength and caring for us with his super heart. Now it's our turn to give something back. This is Maddie McWilliams, reporting live from the dedication of the Thor museum. [she does the cut sign to her cameraman]
Tony: Wow! Okay, the stuff they make you read on air, that's un-freaking-believable! It's crazy.
Maddie: I wrote that piece myself, Tony.
Tony: What I was trying to say was, I can't believe that in our modern society, they let, like actual art get onto the news.
Maddie: Nice save, Tony.
Tony: Why don't we...like, let's just get a coffee or something.
Maddie: [Scoffs] Come on, it's time to get into the Thor day spirit!
Tony: Well, if I were Thor, Loki wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time, that's the first thing.
Maddie: [chuckles] That's sweet, Tony.
Tony: And I'd be watching you, like...like a dingo watches a human baby.
Maddie: Mmm.
Tony: Okay, that sounded...okay, that sounded a little weird.
Maddie: A little bit, yeah.
Tony: You're making a face, and that's making me feel weird. (Maddie is kidnapped by Hulk as Tony continues to speak) Point is, I would watch you like something watching something intently with love. Not love, we're not in love. I'm not saying I love you. Okay, I love you, whatever. [chuckles] But I'm not saying, like, I'm in love with you, I'm saying... (he notices Maddie is gone) Maddie? Mads?
(Cut back to the prison. Captain America's appearance is changed into Loki's as he walks back from the cell.)
Captain America: Get back to work! The city doesn't pay you to loaf.
Police Officers: Freeze!
Captain America: Woah, what are you doing guys? It's meEE-
(The officers taze Captain America and drag him back to Loki's cell.)
(As they cuff Captain America to the chair, Loki steals back the watch and heads out the door as Captain America changes back)
Captain America: Oh, you fools. He's tricked us.
Loki: You were right. (The watch changes him into Captain America) I'll always be a villain. (Loki cackles sinisterly as he locks the door behind him and leaves the prison)
Hulk: Well, hello good looking! Need a lift?
Loki: Certainly do, you fantastic scientist, you!
Hulk: Get in the car, you.
Loki: Woo! I'm free! Nice work sending me the watch, Hulk!
Hulk: You got it, boss!
Loki: Punch it!
(Cut to Thor on stage punching through a brick wall)
Thor: Alright. Put your hands in the air!
(the crowd cheers in delight)
Mayor: Ladies and gentlemen, your Thor!
Thor: Who's your man?
Crowd: Thor!
Thor: Yeah, New York City! (Thor flies along the crowd, high-fiving the audience) Give me some! Come on. Give it to me! Right on! Give me the good stuff! Alright! (Thor picks up and juggles three babies before returning them and grabbing a microphone) Hey, New York City. Hey. Hey (the crowd screams and cheers) Hey. You know, I just wanna bring it down a bit. Boys, a little lower. Thank you, fellas. [the crowd stops cheering] Let's get real for a moment. That's right, that's right. Ha-ha. Although getting a whole museum is super cool, super cool. You wanna know what the greatest honor you've given me is? Do you really wanna know? [the crowd starts to cheer again] Really? [the crowd cheers louder] I'll tell ya. The greatest honor you've given me is letting me serve you. The helpless people of New York City. And at the end of every day, well, I often ask myself; who would I be without you?
[a male voice from the crowd shouts]
Voice from Crowd: I love you, Thor!
Thor: And I love you, random citizen! Ha ha ha~!
[In evil lair]
Loki: Aahh, I tell you Hulk, there's no place like evil lair.
Hulk: I've kept it cold and damp just for you, sir.
Loki: How...how do I look, Hulk? Do I look bad?
Hulk: Disgustingly horrifying, sir.
Loki: You always know what to say.
Hulk: Oh, the brainbots certainly missed you, sir.
Loki: Did you miss your daddy? Who's a menacing little cyborg? You are. Yes, you are. Uh-uh! No biting! No-no-no-no-no. You want the wrench? Go get the wrench!
Hulk: Oh, look at that.
Loki: Now, back to laughing. (both inhale and laugh uproariously, followed by Maddie's muffled voice) She's awake! Quick. To work.
[Hulk removes a cloth bag from his captive, Maddie]
YOU ARE READING
Loki
FanfictionThough he is the most brilliant supervillain the world has known, Loki is the least successful. Thwarted time and again by heroic Thor, Loki is more surprised than anyone when he actually manages to defeat his longtime enemy. But without Thor, Loki...
