Loki: Okay, Hulk! You were right! I was...less right! We should stick to what we're good at. Being bad. Hulk? (Hulk is gone. Loki looks at his plans with Iron Man and realizes there's only one thing left for him now. Villany. He whistles the brainbots over) (pointing at a brainbot) You there. (One of the Brainbots pushes another into the front) Yeah, you. Bring out the Black Mamba. (The brainbots dress Loki into his Black Mamba cape, and unveil Loki's giant mech battle suit) Okay, Iron Man! It's time to go down in style. (Evil laughter and the suit activating is followed by Loki in his Mech walking through the streets of the city. Back In Black plays.) (evil laughter) I hear there's a new hero who dares challenge my evil. Where is the one they call Iron Man? (laughs) Challenge me, if you dare! (He readies himself outside of the city hall. A huge crowd waits to see the fight. Time passes and the crowd slowly dissipates. Loki waits for hours, eventually playing with cars as toys) Brrrr.. Errrr! Oh no, we're gonna crash! Ahhh! (sighs) This is embarrassing (he gets up and walks over to Tony's apartment building.) Of all the inconsiderate, bone-head, irresponsible, rude...! Unprofessional! That's what this is! (He punches into Tony's apartment, getting out of his mech) Would Thor have kept me waiting? Of course not! He was a pro!
Tony: Hey, Loki. You're actually the guy I want to see. Also, there's a door here.
Loki: Do you have any idea how long I waited for you?
Tony: No, no, no! I totally understand what you're saying. Could you just...just shut up for one second, I'm trying to beat this level.
Loki: Were you even planning on showing up? What's this? (He spots a large stash of money and other objects at the end of Tony's apartment) Where did you get all this stuff?
Tony: It doesn't belong to me.
Loki: You stole it!
Tony: Pretty cool, right?
Loki: No, no, no, no! You're a hero!
Tony: Being a hero is for losers. It's work, work, work, twenty-four-seven. And for what? I only took the gig to get the girl and it turns out Maddie doesn't want anything to do with me.
Loki: Maddie McWilliams?
Tony: Yeah, Maddie McWilliams. I saw her having dinner and making googly eyes at some intellectual dweeb.
Loki: Oh.
Tony: Who needs all that noise? That's why I think we should team up.
Loki: You...wait...what?
Tony: With my power and your big-headedness, we could rule the city!
Loki: You want to team up?
Tony: I even drew up some new costume designs. See?
Loki: Costume designs?
Tony: You'd be the brains, so you'd get a little brain wearing glasses on your costume or something, and since I'm the cool one, I'd have, like, two tanks sword fighting or-
(Loki grunts and pushes him away)
Loki: I can't believe you. All your gifts, all your powers and you...you squander them for your own personal gain!
Tony: Yes!
Loki: No! I'm the villain! You're the good guy! I do something bad, and you come and get me. That's why I created you!
Tony: Yeah, right! You're nuts! Space dad told me-
Loki: Look, I'm your space dad!
(he transforms)
Space Dad: You should be more like Thor.
Tony: Ah! You tricked me?
Loki: Oh, don't like that, huh? Well, there's more.
[he transforms into Scott]
Scott: I'm also the intellectual dweeb dating Maddie.
Tony: No...
Scott: And we were smooching up a storm!
[he transforms back into his real form]
Loki: *makes mocking kissing sounds*
Tony: When I get my hands on you I'm gonna-
Loki: Yes, yes, I know! Bring me to justice. Oh god how I've missed this! (Tony strikes and sends Loki flying) Oh! And the hero strikes the first blow! But evil returns with a backhand! (laughs maniacally while smacking Iron Man away) Yes! (Tony flies back to him but Loki hides behind a wall, scaring a worker) Shh! (laughs)
Tony: Come out you little freak! I wanna see what that big brain looks like on the pavement!
(Loki taps Tony's shoulder from behind before punching him into a building. Tony flies out and gives chase)
Loki: You fell for the oldest evil trick in the book!
Tony: You little blue twerp!
(Tony flies to intercept, but Loki strikes him using a streetlight as a sword)
Loki: En garde! (laughs) (Tony picks up a streetlamp as well, and they engage in a swordfight) Haha! Now, that's the spirit! Parry! Thrust! Parry again! Now it's time for some witty back-and-forth banter! You go first!
Tony: (angry screaming)
Loki: Okay! Look, I'm not sure where to go with that!
Tony: This one's for stealing my girlfriend! (He slices at the mechs heel, tripping it and launching it into the air) This one's for Space Dad making a fool out of me! (He punches the mech down, crashing it through multiple floors of a building) And Loki, (he shatters the mech's glass and grabs him) this one's for Space Stepmom! You lied to her!
Loki: Oh, well done! I thought that battle went really, really well. I mean, I have a few notes.
Tony: Notes?!
Loki: But they can wait. (sighs) You can take me to jail now.
Tony: Oh, no, no, no! I was thinking more like the morgue. You're dead! (his eyes start to glow red)
Loki: Whoa, whoa, whoa! This isn't how you play the game.
Tony: Game over!
(Loki gasps in shock, pressing an emergency button that ejects him into the street before getting zapped)
Loki: Brainbots! (The brainbots catch him and carry him away from Tony as he chases him) I'm calling time out! Time out? Time out, time out! (Tony punches through a gas truck, blasting the brainbots away and walks towards Loki laying on the street) Brainbots, initiate the fail-safe. (Right as Tony is about to finish off Loki, the brainbots drop a large Copper dome overtop of him) (chuckles) Guess what, Buster Brown? It's made from copper. You're powerless against it. It's the very same metal used to defeat...
[Tony's fist punches out through the metal]
YOU ARE READING
Loki
Fiksi PenggemarThough he is the most brilliant supervillain the world has known, Loki is the least successful. Thwarted time and again by heroic Thor, Loki is more surprised than anyone when he actually manages to defeat his longtime enemy. But without Thor, Loki...
