So This Is Love ~~~~ R.P.

xxi. Oh, The Guilt

I poofed into Julie's house, teary eyed. I wanted to scream, cry, literally anything to relieve this bubbling pain. But I couldn't.

Before my mind could process what just happened at the dance, I knew I needed to comfort Julie. Slowly, I treaded towards her bedroom. I tried knocking, but I just phased right through the door.. 

"Oh--Um.." I stumbled into Julie's room to find the girl sobbing into her pillow. She looked up to see my red eyes. 

"Are you okay?"

"Are you okay?"

There was a small silence after we had both asked the same question at the same time. 

"Uhm.." Julies started softly, "not really."

"Yeah.. me too." I swallowed thickly. "Look Julie, I'm so sorry about tonight. I..I told them we should have left, but then there dancers and lights, and they got distracted, so, it really isn't all their fault, but it kinda is, and I--"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Julie sat up raising her hands. "I don't want to talk about tonight right now. It's just... way too much to deal with and I need time."

"Oh..yeah, that--that makes sense. Uhm.." My words stumbled as I tried to keep my voice steady. "Right well, I'll just--"

"Wait, you never answered my question." Julie cut in before I could leave. "Are you okay? What happened?"

I slowly made my way towards the red beanbag by Julie's bed. I sat down, but kept my eyes on the ground. 

"I'm...I'm out of the band." I was silent for a second before I quietly scoffed. "I'm out of the band." The words slowly began to sink in, and the reality of them was like a punch to the gut.

Julie's eyes grew wide and her mouth agape. "What?! You quit the band?" 

"No...No the bastard kicked me out!" I stood up. Rage replaced my sadness as I had a new reaction towards the whole ordeal.

"Who?" Julie perked up, forgetting the sullen events of the night, now invested in the newly found drama. 

"Luke." I seethed. "Luke kicked me out of the band," I turned to Julie. "Can you believe that? And he did it so quickly too, and  he didn't even look sorry about it."

"Wait," Julie closed her eyes, trying to piece together everything. "Why would he do that? Haven't you guys been friends since forever?"

"Well, yeah, but you should probably go ask Reggie since he's telling everyone everything," I scoff sarcastically.

"What do you mean? What happened?" Julie asked softly.

I was silent. 

"I...I told Reggie how I really died. He promised to keep it a secret until I was ready to tell Alex and Luke, but..." I took a deep breath, "he ended up telling them tonight. That's why Luke was so mad; he was hurt that I didn't tell him first and then.... he kicked me out of the band."

There was a silence that rested between us as Julie tried to understand everything. I hoped that she wouldn't ask about Reggie again because I couldn't even hear his name without getting upset.

"I'm really sorry Jaiden. You don't deserve this."

"Neither do you," I remind Julie. "We made a promise and broke it. You have every right to be mad at us."

We were silent. We were both grieving, but for different reasons. I had no idea what I was going to do, how could I? That idiot kicked me out of the band with no remorse so what the hell am I supposed to do?