Kill me

12. Rubin 💞

The utter sound of my usual alarm woke me up. It was a Saturday and I had no other plans today so I just turned it off and rolled back over onto my left side. I found Arianna's sleeping figure and I remembered the events of the night before, her eyes glistening from the tears threatening to fall as she finally got her weight lifted off her chest.

I lightly pushed the few hairs out of her face and tucked them behind her head as she slept, her face peaceful, her chest rising and falling as she let out small rhythmic breaths, her mouth just barely open as she breathed. "God dammit" I whispered to myself "How did I get this fucking lucky?" I asked myself, I reached over my head and grabbed my mask off the headboard and I stopped. "She's next to me and my mask is on my headboard.. Did I take it off? She's never supposed to see me with it off.. EVER. FUCK" I thought to myself.

I placed my mask on and laid my head down next to hers, her face was so perfect. Her small figure was admirable in every way, the t-shirt she was wearing was too big for her but complemented her body in every way possible. I gently reached my hand up and grazed her cheek with my thumb. I wanted to kiss her, I needed to, but I couldn't, I wanted her to wake up next to me every morning. Having that connection that no one ever just "has" with someone.

That passion with each other that can only be expressed through the devoted hearts shared between two lovers, the affectionate, warm and caring loyalty of the one you love, that feeling of righteousness when you're finally able to call someone you adore "Yours". That true feeling of tender love and complete devoted trust between one another when you share moments like these.

She gently stirred awake as I pulled my hand away, as she opened her beautiful green eyes, she smiled. Her smile was small yet affectionate, "Good morning" She greeted as she stretched her arms above her head, I smiled at her under my mask "Hi" I greeted, my voice husky and deeper than usual since I just woke up moments before. She placed her hand under her head and laid her head down on her forearm, looking up at me. Her eyes were beautiful, her face was beautiful, she just looked perfect the way she was.

She blushed as I stared at her, I hadn't realised that I was still looking at her, "You really do look beautiful" I said, not meaning to say my thought aloud. She looked up at me as I was almost frozen in place from the slip of my words, "Y'know, you don't need to wear the mask. I saw your face last night, it was dark, sure, but I saw enough" She declared "I chuckled to myself, "It is mandatory that I wear this" I replied and she smiled "I know but.." She sat up a bit, her face was now closer to mine, "I don't care" She whispered and reached for the left side of my mask. I gently grabbed her hand and I could smell her perfume from last night, the scent reminding me of what happened between us.

I lowered her hand, and she frowned. She looked disappointed, almost like she was hurt I wouldn't take the mask off. I sat up, and stood to my feet with my back to her, "Oh fuck it" I said to myself and I removed the mask, I placed it in my right pocket and turned to face her, she looked up at me and she was shocked. "Rubin.." She gasped standing up, she trailed over to me and stood in front of me as if seeing me for the first time, "This is one of the reasons I wear it" I said and she ran her fingers over my scars, I had many. On my cheeks, my chin, my neck, one even over my eye but she never noticed "Rubin.." She repeated and I looked down at her "You look amazing" She state as she reached her hand to the side of my face.

She looks into my eyes as if looking into my soul, her face close to mine. My eyes trail from her eyes down to her lips, I look back up at her and she knows what I'm asking. She leans in, I mirror her movements and our lips graze each other. Her lips were soft and sweet, she gently moved her hand into my hair as I snaked my arm around her waist pulling her closer. Reality kicks in and I know what we're doing is wrong, I reluctantly pull away, nit urgently but enough to shift the mood. My lips stay close to hers, each of us catching our breath "Ari.. we can't" I whisper and I look into her eyes.

"I know" She replied, looking back at my lip as I spoke "But you know how I feel" She finished looking up from my lips, she presses a gentle kiss against my lips once more, I want to kiss her, I want more of her but I can't. I'd be risking everything by even touching her. Her kips pull away from mine, my body instantly craving them again. She slowly brings her hands down so they are resting on my chest. She doesn't say anything, she looks from her hands up at me before turning around and walking to the stairs. Her figure disappearing as she walked up her steps, as soon as she was out of my sight I released a strong breath, as if I was coming up from swimming underwater.

I craved her, her touch, her lips, her presence. I could go upstairs and kiss her again, and have her to myself but be risking everything. Or I could leave her be and forget what happened. Without thinking it over, I trail to the stairs before ascending to the second floor. Not even I, knew what I was about to do.