10 Years Later Ago - Lando Norris

08

10 YEARS AGO

"Are you nervous?" I ask as we pull up at the paddock.

Lando has been racing in Formula Three racing for a few years now through his later teen years.

I believe there was a passion to take it further one day, but his love for his music has overtaken his love for driving, and to be honest, I'm kind of relieved. Music has a lot less risks than driving.

His contract with F3 runs out just in time for graduation and I believe he's ready to bow out.

"Nah, not really, it will be weird when we aren't doing this anymore." he comments, as he turns the car off in the lot.

"Is it something you want to pursue?"

"Not good enough even if I wanted to baby" he comments and I can hear the disappointment. I must have been so wrong about all of this. Maybe he wants it, he just doesn't think he can get it.

"That's not true" I shake my head, and it's the truth, no matter how much I don't want to encourage this idea. "You can do anything" I comfort.

As Lando joins me on the other side of the car, he links his arm over my shoulders, "You believe in me too much" he teases.

I hug him around his waist as we walk toward the entrance.

Watching Lando drive today feels different than any other time I've watched him before, and I think its because up until now, I have seen him do this as a sport, as a hobby, thinking that he was stopping because he was onto other paths. But now knowing that he is coming out thinking he isn't good enough to go any further, when he clearly is, makes me sad for him.

"A real talent isn't he?" someone comments beside me in the crowds.

I look at see a man in his 40s, with a pair of binoculars pointing in Lando's direction.

I can't help but smile, "He really is" I agree, but it makes me equally proud as it does upset.

Lando and I are uncomfortably silent on the way home. His podium trophy snuggled in the back seat. There is a huge unspoken realisation in the air and neither one of us want to acknowledge it.

Lando got offered a position in F2 for next year, with ROKIT WILLIAMS RACING, and I saw it immediately in his face the moment it was offered to him, he wants this.

I want it for him too, I really do. I know how passionate he is about his racing, and until today, I think I was convincing myself it was for fun.

"Congratulations on today" I mutter into the thickness of the air.

"Thanks baby" he sighs, using one hand to hold onto my leg as we continue through the streets.

"Rokit Williams hey? That's incredible" I comment, letting my hand rest of top of his.

"Don't" he warns, feeling a twitch in his hand.

"What?" I argue.

"I can't talk about this right now" and he removes his hand instantly from my leg, gripping the steering wheel more tightly than before.

I glance at him, I can see the tension in his forehead, and then way he's tucking his lips in.

"When can we talk about it?" I ask, pushing my limit.

"We don't need to" he fires back. "This will be my decision"

My mouth flew open in absolute shock. "What?" I barked.

Lando didn't respond, he shook his head and tightened his jaw. He was mad. But now I had no idea what for.

"I understand it's your decision, I would never tell you what to do, and I'll support whatever very decision you want to make, you know that yeah?" My voice was softer this time. I worried that something else was happening in his head and I didn't want him suddenly thinking I didn't support him.

But he still didn't answer me, his focus remained solely on the road ahead, and for the first time ever in our relationship, I felt something break.