10 Years Later Ago - Lando Norris

14

10 YEARS AGO

I sat at Lando's place nearly all day, and he didn't return. He had left his phone by his bedside so that made him unreachable.

Cisca didn't have any idea where he had gone and said he was already out by the time she woke up.

I didn't feel worried about where he was, I felt like our connection was strong enough that I would somehow "feel" it if he wasn't okay. And I didn't have any of those feeling.

The only feeling that reside in me was the one that I was holding him back. I didn't ever want to become something he resented in the future. But I also couldn't imagine a future without him.

"I'm just going to go for a walk" I advise Cisca as the daylight begins to dip over the hill.

"Will you be over for dinner?" She calls out after me.

"It's probably best I go home. Thankyou though" I appreciate as I slip into my shoes and head out the front door.

I have a feeling I know where Lando is, but unsure if my presence will be welcomed there.

As I make it down to his local track, and I can see the flood lights illuminating the track, I spot him instantly down on the trackside.

But he isn't alone.

From where I'm standing, it looks to be Phoebe, one of the other girls in our grade. Someone that Lando and I used to have arguments over as my jealousy resented their friendship.

Someone who I was assured was only a friend.

Two years on with Lando, and I don't have those fears about him anymore. I trust him more than anyone. But it does come into question why they are together right now, and with everything that's hanging in the air above our relationship, I can't help but wonder if I'm not the person he's confiding in an at the moment.

I sit down at the top of the hill that overlooks the track, sheltered by a tall oak tree, giving me enough coverage to hopefully stay hidden.

Taking the sides of my jacket and wrapping it tighter around me, I lean against the trunk and observe Lando and Phoebe.

They are positioned near turn one. Standing  in the middle of the track, Lando seems to be doing a lot of the talking. His hand gestures are a dead giveaway that he's leading this conversation.

Phoebe isn't dressed like she was prepared to be here after dark, which just adds to my list of questions rather than answering.

She's nodding to a lot of his statements and adding in her own thoughts every now and again.

Oh how I wish I were able to hear them, or have the crazy ability to read lips.

Lando runs his hands through his hair before crouching over, placing both hands on the track and letting his head hang low. A sign that he's close to giving up.

But would that be on me? Or on the track?

Phoebe walks over to him and places a comforting hand on his back before seating herself down next to him. Fiddling with a piece of loose track as Lando lowers himself to sit with her.

His frustration takes off with the wind as I can see his playful smile spread across his face and now they are laughing.

Somewhere deep, deep inside of me I feel another piece of our relationship break, but this one feels heavier. The weight of its impact falls heavy on my chest and I worry I'm not equipped to deal with its impact. Also, it's breaking over assumption, and that's a dangerous place to be in.

Unable to take anymore, I rise to my feet, taking one last glance of them and gasping when I find his eyes catching mine.

But only for a moment.
Only for a second.

Before he looks away and continues talking and laughing with Phoebe.

Perhaps he didn't see me,
Perhaps he didn't know I was there.

But if I can trust anything from our relationship it's how I felt when Lando looked at me, that was something that I knew from the moment we met. His eyes held a weight that dumped itself on me whenever our eyes met. A weight that made me feel seen and understood, comforted and wanted.

I felt that when our eyes met, yet he darted away.

I turn around, hugging myself tighter and running back in the direction of our house.

I feel the vibrating of my phone and for a moment I think it's him. But I quickly remember he doesn't have his phone, and it wasn't Phoebes number that flashed across my phone.

It was my brothers.

A brother I had nothing to do with, I never really had. His relationship with my parents was disconnected and toxic. We didn't have a relationship.

"Aaron?" I ask as I suspect a misplaced call.

"Brayleigh?" His voice is clipped. He's struggling with what to say. "Brayleigh, it's mum and dad..."