10 Years Later Ago - Lando Norris

The Letters

Letter One: 

         Mum and Dad died. 

         Do you understand that Lando? They died. They're gone and you left and theres nothing and no-one that can help me now. No-one is able to fix this, except you and you fucked off before even offering your condolences. 

       Did we really mean nothing to you? Was it so easy for you to just walk out on me and what? Mum and dad's death was a good smoke screen to cover that up? Was it your perfect opportunity to leave? You were waiting for the perfect moment to bow out. 

    I really hate you. I can't believe I ever said I loved you. How did I fall in love with someone who thinks so less of me that they'd just up and leave. That the last two years were so pointless and inconvenient to you, that you just, what? Leave? 

     I hope I never see you again. I hope that you live a lifetime of unhappiness and that you never fall in love. 

Our eyes make contact after he reads the first letter, I remember how young and angry I was in that letter, and I just shrug my shoulders and try and play it off lightly. 

"Oh wow, Bray" he mutters, 

"Look, I swear they aren't all that bad. I think I'd finished a bottle of wine at the time I wrote that letter, just keep going" 

He chuckles lightly before grabbing the second letter. 

Letter Two: 

            It's been a year, Lando. And it's at this point I feel like I should be next to their headstones, telling them how much I miss them and wish they were still around. And whilst I do that every other day, the biggest part of me that's screaming a memory today is why didn't you come back?

         I admit for the first few weeks, I knew you weren't coming back, then in the first few months, I wondered if you ever thought about me, and then now at the one year mark, I wonder if you ever regret not calling? 

          I feel like our story isn't finished, but I think it's because it doesn't have an ending, I stare at these blank pages in front of me at the next section in our relationship and wonder if I need to write you out myself. Do I say you moved away? Do I say we just fell out of love? 

        I often feel like I can convince myself of any ending I come up with, but then I know I'm kidding myself. I'll never accept that we had an ending because we were never meant to have one. 

         Whatever you may believe about our life, or the path destined for us, I knew we were meant to be together, you were completely it for me, you were it from the moment we met and your goofy smile invaded my space. You were it. I knew as long as you were in my life, I'd be happy forever. 

          I hope you think about me, even if only once. 

Lando's hand quickly passes by underneath his eye, and then his knuckle gets the other one. I remember how I felt when I wrote that letter, I remember committing myself subconsciously to Lando forever in that moment. I didn't know how unhealthy it would be in that one moment. 

"Keep going" I encourage, shifting myself closer to him and taking letter two from his hands and folding it neatly next to me. 

"Oh wait, you probably don't need to read this next one" I chuckle, pulling it from his hands the moment it comes from the box.