10 Years Later Ago - Lando Norris

12

We sit down by the dock for just over an hour and Lando expresses everything he is feeling about Formula Two possibilities.

"We had plans Bray, you and me, and I just, going into the formula, it's just me" he explains.

"Baby, I'll always be with you" I reassure him, wiping a stranded tear from my cheek.

"No, I know that" he softens, cupping my cheek in his hand, "But it's never going to be even, for me to go into Formula, you'd have to literally give up everything and just, I don't know, follow me"

I let that settle for a moment. "Don't let me influence this decision for you Lando, if you want this, I want it for you" I press.

"I know, I know" he stresses, "But I don't think I want it".

"But tell me why you don't want it" I ask. I really don't want him to give up his dream because he feels he's asking too much of me to get it. But I really get what he is saying and I hadn't really thought abut it.

Before Formula came into it, we had plans to go to college together, him for medical science, me for education, and it was going to work out. Things were planned.

The fact that he doesn't answer me right away, I fear that his only reason might be me. And for the second time, I feel another piece break in our relationship.

"Come on, lets just go home" I offer him an out.

He looks at me with every form of apology in his eyes and I offer him a reassuring tight lipped smile.

We drive back to his house and fold into his room for the evening, nothing about his driving career is spoken about again, but as we snuggle into his single bed and curl into our usual position and he holds me tightly against him. He holds me not like he loves me more than anything, but like suddenly there might be an end date for us, no matter how much love is between us.

I close my eyes and pretend I've fallen asleep, thinking of every which way I would happily give up everything for him. I wouldn't even think about it for a second. If it were between a career in education, or having Lando in my life, the comparison is none. It wouldn't even be a question. I would give up everything to be with him.

"I really do love you more than anything, Lando" I whisper into the darkness of the room, unknowing how long I've been thinking for.

I feel his lips press into the back of my head, but he doesn't respond. And that scares me.

Waking up the next morning to the sun in my eyes, I squirm and stretch out. However, stretching and not hitting the usual wall of body alerts me. I sit up instantly and glance around the room. Lando is no where to be found. I listen closely to see if I can hear him in the bathroom, but theres nothing.

Sliding out of bed and throwing on one of Lando's hoodies, I hold the sleeves of it up to my nose and take in his scent. Subconsciously thinking I need to start committing everything to memory.

I tip toe down stairs to find Cisca, Lando's mother, sitting in the living room, sipping her morning tea. "Morning" I call out as I continue down the stairs and into the room.

"Morning sweetheart" she calls out and shuffles over, patting the chair next to her for me to sit.

She throws an arm around me and places a gentle kiss into the side of my head, leaving her arm there and letting me to snuggle into her.

"How'd you sleep?" she asks.

I shrug into her, "Okay" I mutter.

"Talk to me honey" she encourages, and I love that she knows that there's something on my mind. I've always felt like family here.

"Formula 2" is all I say.

"Ah" she acknowledge, shuffling so I sit up and face her this time, leaning forward to place her tea down on the table and now I know it's serious.

"I feel like I'm standing in his way" I confess.

Her lips purse together and I can see she sympathises with me. "Oh honey"

I swallow my fears and fix my hair over to one side. "I just know, he really wants this, and he deserves this, but he made some comments last night about me having to give up everything for him to be able to do this"

"He love you so much" she reassures, but I've never questioned that. I just don't know how far love can take you, we've never been challenged like this before. "Lando will make the decision for what is best for him, just continue to be normal with him. Making decisions for him will only anger him. He's always been like that"

"And what happens if he decides I'm not whats best for him?"